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How can you benefit from helping other people?

How can you benefit from helping other people? k5oWK
In my opinion, help each other in life always give me a chance to learn something new about today. If someone needs help, it's a moral chance to start learning news, something small but helpful for the future, maybe. For example, if I'm a volunteer in an organization help the holders or orphanages, I can learn how to create a sense of belonging, work in a group to help others, how kind, and get along with everyone in there. Or another like helping an old lady pass on the street, I can receive thanks or maybe a little gift like candy from her which makes me happy all day. Finally help each other randomly can take a chance to create stronger friendship and each human with fabulous characters, perhaps, needs to help in a situation. It's a perfect chance to have a new relationship, who fit with me and have another good friend. I would learn many lessons when it comes to me every day to help me better and stronger.
In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
each other in life always give me a chance to learn something new about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. If someone needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
, it's a moral chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
learning news, something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
helpful for the future, maybe.
For example
, if I'm a volunteer in an organization
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the holders or orphanages, I can learn how to create a sense of belonging, work in a group to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
others, how kind, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along with everyone in there. Or another like helping an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
lady pass on the street, I can receive thanks or maybe a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
gift like candy from her which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
me happy all day.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
each other
randomly
can take a chance to create stronger friendship and each human with fabulous characters, perhaps, needs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in a situation. It's a perfect chance to have a new relationship, who fit with me and have another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
friend. I would learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
lessons when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to me every day to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
me better and stronger.
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IELTS essay How can you benefit from helping other people?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
171 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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