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How and why the high density of vehicles, industries and other sources affect air pollution in the Netherlands?

How and why the high density of vehicles, industries and other sources affect air pollution in the Netherlands? YB11Q
The planet temperature rises more than it would naturally, this is mostly caused by the high density of vehicles, industries and other sources that affect the air pollution. We all have seen natural disasters all around the world, they affect the climate in the Netherlands. The weather in that country has a lot of effects in it, not as bad as other countries but those little changes that may impact the society. How can we avoid damaging our planet to leave a good environment for future generations. One of the most seen changes is the increase in summer days, as well as floods due to rains, fires caused by heat, etc. The effects of climate change in the netherlands are expected to continue over the years, the negative effects of climate change are strongly related to changes of extreme weather conditions like droughts, storms, heatwaves, wildfires ( Chuka Nwanazia 2018) ass well as the outbreak of new diseases and pests may increase. Climate changes not simply happen in the Netherlands, it also happens around the world, one of the changes that has most impacted society is that the poles of the earth are melting in an incredible way. Of course, also the drastic changes in temperature have affected the seas to the point where they dry up, places where it was always cold, now it is starting to get hot, as is happening in the Netherlands. As humans we need to be proud of all the advances in technology in the 21th century, this has helped the society in an incredible way, to the point of the creations of vehicles, industries, phones, etc. But not all were benefits, there were also many consequences of technological advances, as well as, pollution and that this leads to climate changes. Some of us may know the main reasons why the world is suffering from climatic changes, these are: large amounts of vehicles and industries. But, How does this affect the air pollution? . Vehicles are a major pollution contributor, these produce significant amounts of nitrogen oxides, carbon monoxide, etc. Industrial pollution takes on many faces. It contaminates several sources of drinking water, releases unwanted toxins into the air and reduces the quality of soil all over the world. ( What is Industrial Pollution? - conserve energy future). Some causes of Industrial pollution are: Lack of effective policies to control pollution, Many small industries and factories that don’t have enough capital and rely on government grants to run their day-to-day businesses often escape environmental regulations. The effects of industrial pollution and high density of vehicles are affecting the ecosystem of now a days and years overcome, if we don't change how we are doing things from now on or in the future the world will be very different from the one we know now, I do not mean technologically, I mean that there will no longer be ecosystems. Air pollution has led to a steep increase in various illnesses, and it continues to affect us on a daily basis. With so many small, mid and large scale industries coming up, air pollution has taken a toll on the health of the people and the environment. (What is Industrial Pollution? - conserve energy future). If we want to preserve the world for future generations, change has to be done from now on, we cannot put this aside any more than we have already done.
The planet temperature rises more than it would
naturally
, this is
mostly
caused by the high density of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
and other sources that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. We all have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
natural
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
disasters


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
all
around the
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world
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
in the Netherlands. The weather in that country

has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
effects in it, not as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
as other countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
that may impact the society. How can we avoid damaging our planet to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
environment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
generations.

One of the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
is the increase in summer days,
as well
as floods due to

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
rains
, fires caused by heat, etc.

The effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
netherlands
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to continue over the years,

the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
are
strongly
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
of extreme

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
weather
conditions like droughts, storms, heatwaves, wildfires
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chuka
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nwanazia
2018) ass well as the outbreak of new diseases and pests may increase.

Climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
not
simply
happen in the Netherlands, it
also
happens around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
that has most impacted society is that the poles of the earth are melting
Consider replacing "in an incredible way" with the adverb for "incredible"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an incredible way
.

Of course
,
also
the drastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in temperature have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the seas to the point where they dry up, places where it was always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
it is starting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hot, as is happening in the Netherlands.

As
The comma is probably missing here: "humans, we".
humans we
need to be proud of all the advances in technology in the
Please check the suffix, if this is an ordinal number.
21th
century, this has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the society
Consider replacing "in an incredible way" with the adverb for "incredible"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an incredible way
, to the point of the creations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
, phones, etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
not all were benefits, there were
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
consequences of technological advances,
as well
as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and that this leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of us may know the main reasons why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is suffering from climatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
, these are: large amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, How does this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
?
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


Vehicles are a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
contributor, these produce significant amounts of nitrogen oxides, carbon monoxide, etc.

Industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
takes on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
faces. It contaminates several sources of drinking water, releases unwanted toxins into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the quality of soil all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
What is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pollution
?
Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
conserve energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future)
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
are: Lack of effective policies to control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
and factories that don’t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
capital and rely on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
grants to run their day-to-day businesses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
escape environmental regulations.

The effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and high density of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
are affecting the ecosystem of
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
and years overcome, if we don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
how we are doing things from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
on or in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the one we know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
, I do not mean
technologically
, I mean that there will no longer be ecosystems.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
has led to a steep increase in various illnesses, and it continues to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
us on a daily basis. With
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
, mid and large scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
coming up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
has taken a toll on the health of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and the environment. (What is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pollution
?
Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
conserve energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future)
. If we want to preserve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
generations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be done
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
on, we cannot put this aside any more than we have already done.
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IELTS essay How and why the high density of vehicles, industries and other sources affect air pollution in the Netherlands?

Essay
  American English
14 paragraphs
569 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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