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Hong Kong's mass immigration

Hong Kong's mass immigration 5beRB
Hong Kong is a bustling city located in the southern part of China. A city with a lot of intellectuals, engineers, technicians and scientists. This city was doing very well for the past decades. However, it faces a critical shortage of talent in the recent years. A lot of the highly talented workforce are leaving the city prior to civil unrest, corruption and Chinese takeover. There can be a lot of explanations for this. The most common reason will be the mainland Chinese control over the city. Most of the young people of Hong Kong are democratic minded and free speech loving. They have an unfavorable opinion against the Chinese totalitarian regime. Their belief, freedom of speech, customs, culture and values are being regulated by the Chinese. Another reason for mass immigration might be the housing shortages and real estate high prices. The city is over-populated. A lot of the people doing potential and prosperous jobs cannot afford to buy flats or rent apartments. They are being frustrated by this basic human right issue. The Chief executive of Hong Kong as well as China should look over this matter. They should try to solve the issue of mass immigration as soon as possible. Otherwise, a lot of the highly talented people will be lost in the long run.
Hong Kong is a bustling city located in the southern part of China. A city with a
lot
of intellectuals, engineers, technicians and scientists. This city was doing
very
well for the past decades.
However
, it faces a critical shortage of talent in the recent years. A
lot
of the
highly
talented workforce are leaving the city prior to civil unrest, corruption and Chinese takeover. There can be a
lot
of explanations for this. The most common reason will be the mainland Chinese control over the city. Most of the young
people
of Hong Kong are democratic minded and free speech loving. They have an unfavorable opinion against the Chinese totalitarian regime. Their belief, freedom of speech, customs, culture and values are
being regulated
by the Chinese. Another reason for mass immigration might be the housing shortages and real estate high prices. The city is over-populated. A
lot
of the
people
doing potential and prosperous jobs cannot afford to
buy
flats or rent apartments. They are
being frustrated
by this basic human right issue. The Chief executive of Hong Kong
as well
as China should look over this matter. They should try to solve the issue of mass immigration as
soon
as possible.
Otherwise
, a
lot
of the
highly
talented
people
will
be lost
in the long run.
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IELTS essay Hong Kong's mass immigration

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
218 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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