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Home schooling has been receiving a great deal of attention from parents rather than traditional learning. Why does it happen? What effects can be caused?

Home schooling has been receiving a great deal of attention from parents rather than traditional learning. Why does it happen? What effects can be caused? 0pnJ3
In contemporary society, it is undoubtedly that education is becoming increasingly indispensable in people’s lives. A plethora of people claim that study at home has been receiving immense attention from fathers and mothers rather than conventional learning. In this essay, not only reasons but also consequences are going to be examined in the following paragraph. There are two causes behind parents pay more attention to learning at home rather than studying at school. Firstly, it is more beneficial for students to control their timetable. Due to the fact, it is easy to use an Internet connection to access lessons and they can study whenever they want. For instance, when they want to learn informatics practises, they can train in their free time with numerous courses in the same period. Secondly, when parents employ a personal tutor to teach at home, students can learn only their favorite subjects instead of all ones. Therefore, they will quickly acquire knowledge and learn more positively. As a result, homeschooling, which is convenient, makes students are more comfortable than traditional learning. There is a main negative effect behind studying with their own tutor. Homeschooled students who may lack social skills have difficulty learning how to get on with others. Owing to the fact that they will not have much time to work in groups and communicate with their friends. Furthermore, it is easy for students to have depression which is a serious illness. As a result, studying with their own tutor will miss out on the social experience that school offers. In conclusion, it is clear that there are various reasons for learning with students’ own tutor including convenience and favorite subjects. Nevertheless, it is likely to lead to the effect that students will struggle to interact and join in group work activities.
In contemporary society, it is
undoubtedly
that education is becoming
increasingly
indispensable in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. A plethora of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that study at home has been receiving immense attention from fathers and mothers
rather
than conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
. In this essay, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
consequences are going to
be examined
in the following paragraph.

There are two causes behind parents pay more attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
at home
rather
than studying at school.
Firstly
, it is more beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to control their timetable. Due to the fact, it is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
an Internet connection to access
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lessons and
they can study whenever they want.
For instance
, when they want to learn informatics
Possible spelling mistake. 'practises' is British English.
practises
, they can train in their free time with numerous courses in the same period.
Secondly
, when parents employ a personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tutor
to teach at home,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
their favorite subjects
instead
of all ones.
Therefore
, they will
quickly
acquire knowledge and learn more
positively
.
As a result
, homeschooling, which is convenient,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are more comfortable than traditional learning.

There is a main
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect behind studying with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tutor
. Homeschooled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who may lack social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
have difficulty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
on with others. Owing to the fact that they will not have much time to work in groups and communicate with their friends.
Furthermore
, it is easy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have depression which is a serious illness.
As a result
, studying with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tutor
will miss out on the social experience that school offers.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there are various reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tutor
including convenience and favorite subjects.
Nevertheless
, it is likely to lead to the effect that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will struggle to interact and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in group work activities.
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IELTS essay Home schooling has been receiving a great deal of attention from parents rather than traditional learning. Why does it happen? What effects can be caused?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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