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public sports center or public hospital?

public sports center or public hospital? 70Ym5
As some argue that increasing the number of public sports facilities can improve people's health, people tend to think differently about one problem, while others have conflicting views that more public health facilities are needed to solve public health difficulties. Meanwhile, fitness centers can provide various types of public amenities such as soccer fields and swimming pools, which allow many people to exercise comfortably and thereby develop their physical strength. Therefore, some people think that gyms are places that encourage the public to be physically and mentally healthy. For example, fitness centers in neighboring areas may help locality if they provide various types of recreation options. However, this option is not enough because the crisis is never simple in the current highly contagious pandemic situation, and related authorities have to focus on other issues. On the other hand, most countries, especially developing countries, are facing serious crises in the public health sector. Therefore, the Ministry of Health should allocate considerable costs not only to build modernized hospitals and training centers, but also to introduce state-of-the-art technologies to diagnose diseases. Faced with financial constraints, it should be approached by the WHO and the UN, international organizations. In addition, those countries should devise public health insurance programs. They say that public medical facilities are a much more important problem than the fitness center. In conclusion, in order to minimize personal health problems, the government must make efforts through various positions, such as investing in public hospitals and raising awareness of infectious diseases and epidemics. Public sports centers and others can be invested after they are fully equipped with public medical facilities.
As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that increasing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
sports facilities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
differently
about one problem, while others have conflicting views that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
facilities
are needed
to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
difficulties.

Meanwhile, fitness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
can provide various types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
amenities such as soccer fields and swimming pools, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to exercise
comfortably
and thereby develop their physical strength.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that gyms are places that encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
to be
physically
and mentally healthy.
For example
, fitness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
in neighboring areas may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
locality if they provide various types of recreation options.
However
, this option is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the crisis is never simple in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
highly
contagious pandemic situation, and related authorities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
issues.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, most countries,
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
, are facing serious crises in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
sector.
Therefore
, the Ministry of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
should allocate considerable costs not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to build modernized hospitals and training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to introduce state-of-the-art technologies to diagnose diseases. Faced with financial constraints, it should
be approached
by the WHO and the UN, international organizations.
In addition
, those countries should devise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
insurance programs. They say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
medical facilities are a much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
problem than the fitness center.

In conclusion
, in order to minimize personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
efforts through various positions, such as investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
hospitals and raising awareness of infectious diseases and epidemics.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
can
be invested
after they are
fully
equipped with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
medical facilities.
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IELTS essay public sports center or public hospital?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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