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Holding international games like Olympics are exciting events. Some think it has positive effects while others think it is waste of money .discuss both points and give ur opinion.

Holding international games like Olympics are exciting events. Some think it has positive effects while others think it is waste of money. GWAdQ
Organizing mega programs or worldwide sports such as Olympics games, world cup shows are considered thrilling moments as it not only provide opportunities for viewers to visit new nation but also soared the economy of event holding country. However, it has also some downsides which will be evaluated in upcoming paragraphs. Since international games are associated with all the players around the globe, their fans assess easily to different provisions to cheer up their role models, which skyrocketes the number of tourists and assist the nation to collect revenues whether in the form of tickets, accommodation in hotels or other charges. Inspite of this, visitors are able to glance the history building of event holding nation which results in dramatic inclination of travelling industry. An illustration states that after Olympics games in Egypt there was 70% rise in number of foreign commuters which considerably increase in annual income accounting 85%more than past decades, thus such programs are really beneficial for hosting nation to boost their economical resources. On the flip side, it cannot be refuted that organization of such big events are related with high expenditure either of renovating the existing sites or constructing new stadium, which remains vacant for years once a program finishes, therefore it contributes to wastage of savings. Moreover, this amount would be utilized for uplifting the citizens living standards by allocating them better education, sustenance, employment and housing facilities. In Brazil, for instance, more than 60% population is suffering from hunger and poverty while when such developing country spend large expenses on these events it would produce adverse impact on its people and they would be unable to fulfill their necessities. In conclusion, although hosting Olympic sports or international programs promotes the culture of nation which significantly surged the income by tourism, the economic crisis faced by developing countries after these events cannot be neglected. Hence, prior holding such events, nations must analysis their resources and basic priorities to uplift the living standards of citizens.
Organizing mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
or worldwide sports such as Olympics games, world cup
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
are considered
thrilling moments as it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide opportunities for viewers to visit new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
soared the economy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
holding country.
However
, it has
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
downsides which will
be evaluated
in upcoming paragraphs.

Since international games
are associated
with all the players around the globe, their fans assess
easily
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
provisions to cheer up their role models, which
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "skyrockets", the plural form of the noun 'skyrocket'?
skyrocketes
the number of tourists and assist the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
to collect revenues whether in the form of tickets, accommodation in hotels or other charges.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Inspite
of this, visitors are able to glance the history building of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
holding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
which results in dramatic inclination of travelling industry. An illustration states that after Olympics games in Egypt there was 70% rise in number of foreign commuters which
considerably
increase in annual income accounting 85%more than past decades,
thus
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are
really
beneficial for hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
to boost their
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
resources.

On the flip side, it cannot
be refuted
that organization of such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are related
with high expenditure either of renovating the existing sites or constructing new stadium, which remains vacant for years once a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
finishes,
therefore
it contributes to wastage of savings.
Moreover
, this amount would
be utilized
for uplifting the citizens living standards by allocating them better education, sustenance, employment and housing facilities. In Brazil,
for instance
, more than 60% population is suffering from hunger and poverty while when such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing country
spend large expenses on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
it would produce adverse impact on its
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they would be unable to fulfill their necessities.

In conclusion
, although hosting Olympic sports or international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
promotes the culture of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
which
significantly
surged the income by tourism, the economic crisis faced by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
after these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
cannot
be neglected
.
Hence
, prior holding such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
The word 'analysis' is a noun or an adjective. A verb is missing or misspelled, or maybe a comma is missing.
must analysis
their resources and basic priorities to uplift the living standards of citizens.

IELTS essay Holding international games like Olympics are exciting events. Some think it has positive effects while others think it is waste of money.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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