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history is one the most important school subjects and science and technology are more important than history.

history is one the most important school subjects and science and technology are more important than history. kbOk8
There are several school subjects that pupils learn in school to support their career goals in the future. While some people argue that one of the most crucial subjects is history, others believe that science and technology are more pivotal than history at this recent time. I will put forth the main points of both sides and argue that the latter is preferable because school subjects should give the latest skills for pupils. On the one hand, the main reason why history is one of the most important subjects is that it brings valuable information from our ancestors from the past. In other words, it is like a sharing experience session where students could take a worthy lesson for their life. For example, from world war stories, they should learn not only about the heroism, but it also reveals that war has left catastrophic and suffering for mankind. Then, from discovery stories, they could acknowledge the struggle of inventors spending their lifetime to find theories or machines that make human life easier. As a result, all these stories should bring moral values for student life. On the other hand, I side with those who believe that history is less important than science and technology. This is because both of the two subjects not only give students vast knowledge, but they also give the latest skill which students really need practically for their daily life. For instance, mathematics teaches students how to count precisely the amount of money that they should pay for groceries. Another example, a subject related to technology tells students how to optimize the use of technologies like the internet to help students obtain abundant information for their assignment. Conversely, students can not get these skills from history subjects since history just teaches knowledge about obsolete technology from the past. In conclusion, it is undoubted that history has taught important knowledge for students. However, I remain convinced that it is not enough. Students should be equipped with the latest practical skills that they can get from science and technology
There are several school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that pupils learn in school to support their career goals in the future. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that one of the most crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, others believe that science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are more pivotal than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
at this recent time. I will put forth the main points of both sides and argue that the latter is preferable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should give the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
for pupils.

On the one hand, the main reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is that it brings valuable information from our ancestors from the past.
In other words
, it is like a sharing experience session where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could take a worthy lesson for their life.
For example
, from world war stories, they should learn not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about the heroism,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
reveals that war has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
catastrophic and suffering for mankind. Then, from discovery stories, they could acknowledge the struggle of inventors spending their lifetime to find theories or machines that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
human life easier.
As a result
, all these stories should bring moral values for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
life.

On the other hand
, I side with those who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both of the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
vast knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
give the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
really
need
practically
for their daily life.
For instance
, mathematics teaches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
how to count
precisely
the amount of money that they should pay for groceries. Another example, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
how to optimize the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
like the internet to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
obtain abundant information for their assignment.
Conversely
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
teaches knowledge about obsolete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
from the past.

In conclusion
, it
is undoubted
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
has taught
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
knowledge for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
However
, I remain convinced that it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
should
be equipped
with the latest practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from science and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
technology

IELTS essay history is one the most important school subjects and science and technology are more important than history.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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