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Historical person that I admire the most

Historical person that I admire the most Nllxg
One of the historical figures that I admire the most would be Thomas Alva Edison. He was an American Inventors who lived at the end of the eighteenth century. His greatest invention would be light bulb that we still use untill today. It’s hard to write what’s he looks like, because we can find only black and white pictures of him. I think that he had grey hair and look quite old. He had got small eyes with bushy brows under them. In most of the pictures he is looking elegant. He is wearing suit and bow tie. About his personality I think he was so determinate person. During his time, scientists had limited equipment, as there was no computer, no calculator and people have limited access to the library. But with that limitation, he never gave up and continued to make some experiments. All in all I admire Thomas Edison. Without his ambition and resolve, now we will sitting in the dark room, using only candles.
One of the historical figures that I admire the most would be Thomas Alva Edison. He was an American
Inventors
who
lived
at the
end
of the eighteenth century. His greatest invention would be light bulb that we
still
use
untill
today
.

It’s
hard
to write what’s he looks like,
because
we can find
only
black and white pictures of him. I
think
that he had
grey
hair and look quite
old
. He had
got
small
eyes with bushy brows under them.

In most of the pictures he is looking elegant. He is wearing suit and bow tie.

About his personality I
think
he was
so
determinate person. During his time, scientists had limited equipment, as there was no computer, no calculator and
people
have limited access to the library.
But
with that limitation, he never gave up and continued to
make
some
experiments.

All in all I admire Thomas Edison. Without his ambition and resolve,
now
we will
sitting
in the dark room, using
only
candles.
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IELTS essay Historical person that I admire the most

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
167 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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