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Himesh begin are judged according to their social status and material possessions old fashion values and trusts am no longer about and what extent do you agree or disagree

Himesh begin are judged according to their social status and material possessions old fashion values and trusts am no longer about and what extent BD9X
In this modern era, the majority of the people are judged by others according to their social state lifestyle and regarding material possession. However some masses think traditional values and trust are more important in human life. In this eassy, I will discuss about real value of the old traditional values and trust. To begin with there are a plethora of the reasons why people interact with people social life and material possessions. Firstly in this modern time period mostly masses are just on the behalf of the their living standard and they have big house and big cars and other material things because of money and material possession is become first priority of the people. For instance, people run behind the money first for status and gain more material objects such as buy expensive branded cloth and expensive phones. Furtherfore, people think if that person has more money as status that is trustworthy such as majority of the people follow hai status and which which person as as a ideal person. However, I strongly believe that only social status and material things is not only important in human life was a traditional values and trust is play important role in human life. For instance, for longer and strong relationship trust is important Because without traditional values and trust it can be more difficult to survive the real world Due to that fact, in any business company without trust it is not possible to run any kind of business. Secondly, traditional values help to person how to become gentleman and how to manage relationship with material possession. Thus, trust and traditional values are important as compared to the social status in their material world. to conclude although in the present time money and material object become first preference of the human being but I personally believe that trust and social values are play important role because of this is the first impression of the person how to maintain the social status and material possession in real life for long time.
In this modern era, the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are judged
by others according to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
state lifestyle and regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possession
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
masses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
values and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trust
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
in
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human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In this
Possible spelling mistake found.
eassy
, I will
Did you mean simply "discuss real"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about real
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value
of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
values and trust.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with there are a plethora of the reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possessions
.
Firstly
in this modern time period
mostly
masses are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
on the behalf of
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "their living" or "the living"?
the their living
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
standard and
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "housed".
house
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cars and other
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material
things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possession
is become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
priority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
run behind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
and gain more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
objects such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
expensive branded cloth and expensive phones.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Furtherfore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
if that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
that is
trustworthy such as majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
follow
Possible spelling mistake found.
hai
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
and
Possible typo: you repeated a word
which which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
Possible typo: you repeated a word
as as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
ideal person.

However
, I
strongly
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
things is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
values and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trust
is play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, for longer and strong relationship
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trust
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
values and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trust
it can be more difficult to survive the real world Due to that fact, in any business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trust
it is not possible to run any kind of business.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
values
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
how to become gentleman and how to manage relationship with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possession
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trust
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
values are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
as compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
world.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
conclude although in the present time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
object become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
preference of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trust
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
values are play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
role
because of this
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
impression of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
how to maintain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possession
in real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for long time.
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IELTS essay Himesh begin are judged according to their social status and material possessions old fashion values and trusts am no longer about and what extent

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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