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highly paid job or a satisfying one

highly paid job or a satisfying one keGjd
It is often considered that having high wage is more advangous than job fulfillment even if does not appeal to you at all. I completely disagree with this opinion and think that job satisfaction is much more important than salary. First of all, I believe that job satisfaction gives people a sense of fulfillment that no amount of money can guarantee. Even if someone is earning a high salary but feels tensed and compromises with his conscience, this person won't enjoy his life. While pursuing one's interests will always bring pleasure and feeling of satisfaction. For instance, if someone who does not like meeting people got a high paying job as a sales person will not be happy at all, because he will have to talk to lots of peoplle and will be stressed most of the time. Thus, it is way better to choose a career that appeals to someone's interests to enjoy and feel happy about the work that will be taken a third of he's time. Second of all, people doing what they like keep them motivated and therefore lead to a career growth. In other words, there is a strong relation between job satisfaction and productivity. employees who love their jobs can easily excel in their fields of work and achieve better results than those who put salary first. For example, people who left their high paying jobs in big companies like google or Microsoft and start their own projects and became very successful them, because they like what they are doing and became very creative and productive. Hence, advantages of jobs tat keep you satisfied outweight the drawback of low income in a long-term prespective. In conlusion, I strongly believe that job satisfaction is more beneficial than high salary because it makes people happy and motivated.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
considered that having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
wage is more
Possible spelling mistake found.
advangous
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
fulfillment even if does not appeal to you at all. I completely disagree with this opinion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than salary.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a sense of fulfillment that no amount of money can guarantee. Even if someone is earning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
feels tensed and compromises with his conscience, this person won't enjoy his life. While pursuing one's interests will always bring pleasure and feeling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
.
For instance
, if someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
does not like meeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as a sales person will not be happy at all,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
talk to lots of
Possible spelling mistake found.
peoplle
and will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
most of the time.
Thus
, it is way better to choose a career that appeals to someone's interests to enjoy and feel happy about the work that will
be taken
a third of he's time.

Second of all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
doing what they like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them motivated and
therefore
lead to a career growth.
In other words
, there is a strong relation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
and productivity.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
can
easily
excel in their fields of work and achieve better results than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
put salary
first
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
like google or Microsoft and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
projects and became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
successful them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they like what they are doing and became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
creative and productive.
Hence
, advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
tat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
you satisfied
Possible spelling mistake found.
outweight
the drawback of low income in a long-term
Possible spelling mistake found.
prespective
.

In
Possible spelling mistake found.
conlusion
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is more beneficial than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
happy and motivated.
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IELTS essay highly paid job or a satisfying one

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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