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High consumption of sugar is detrimental to one’s health. It is thought by some that it is the oblig...

High consumption of sugar is detrimental to one’s health. It is thought by some that it is the oblig. . . 26ELx
High consumption of carbohydrate is detrimental to one’s health. It is thought by a number of that it is the obligation of the government to reduce the absorption of carbohydrate while others believe that it is a duty of an personal to curb it. I am of the opinion that absorption of carbohydrate should be replaced with a close substitute such as Honey. On one hand, the government should pass a law that will reduce carbohydrate intake. This law should be on the daily advisable intake of sugar for an individual. For example, In Nigeria there are agencies responsible for quality assurance of products in the market, they can create a sanctioning order on companies that are not following strict government policy on sugar in foods. In addition, media jingles should be made concerning the side effect of consuming a considerable amount of sugar. On the more hand, alternative believed that it is a job of an lone to take care of their carbohydrate absorption and I agree. I am of the opinion that person can choose to take Honey instead of carbohydrate. Honey is a natural sweetener that has no side effects when compared with carbohydrate. Also, it should be a paramount thing for an sole to always check his/ her blood carbohydrate level and engage in physical exercises to burn excess carbohydrate in their system. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinion, I believe it is germane for an singular to pay attention to their health and subscribe to new forms of carbohydrate such as Honey.
High consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrate
is detrimental to one’s health. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by a number of that it is the obligation of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the absorption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrate
while others believe that it is a duty of
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
personal to curb it. I am of the opinion that absorption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrate
should
be replaced
with a close substitute such as Honey.

On one hand, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should pass a law that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrate
intake. This law should be on the daily advisable intake of sugar for an individual.
For example
, In Nigeria there are agencies responsible for quality assurance of products in the market, they can create a sanctioning order on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that are not following strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
policy on sugar in foods.
In addition
, media jingles should
be made
concerning the side effect of consuming a considerable amount of sugar.

On the more hand, alternative believed that it is a job of
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
lone to take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrate
absorption and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. I am of the opinion that person can choose to take Honey
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrate
. Honey is a natural sweetener that has no side effects when compared with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrate
.
Also
, it should be a paramount thing for
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
sole to always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
his/ her blood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrate
level and engage in physical exercises to burn excess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrate
in their system.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may vary in their opinion, I believe it is germane for
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
singular to pay attention to their health and subscribe to new forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbohydrate
such as Honey.
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IELTS essay High consumption of sugar is detrimental to one’s health. It is thought by some that it is the oblig. . .

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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