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hese days, most people wear similar clothes and therefore look very similar. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

hese days, most people wear similar clothes and therefore look very similar. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? BY8Gd
Mankind across the globe adores to wear various clothing. As the entire earth is becoming a global market; thus, it has a significant impact on what we wear. Although people wearing similar things is decreasing the discrimination among them, it is not beneficial for the culture of a country as well as the identity of an individual. Firstly, the change in dressing habits are effecting significantly on the cultural ecosystem. For example, in India for festivals or functions adults prefer their family members to wear traditional attires. This also creates a happy environment around the house. Nowadays it is frequently seen that the younger generation are wearing western outfits that is making the elderly population disheartened. Hence, slowly the popularity of Indian clothing is reducing. Therefore, the local weavers and traders are also finding it difficult to make their ends meet. Besides that it is becoming difficult to identify a Dutch and an Indian national; that is not a beneficial progress for the civilization. Henceforth, I think the change that whips out the social foundation is detrimental. On the other hand, humankind are going through a crisis where they are not being able to protect their individualism. As, it is said that whatever we wear play a crucial role on our personality. Hence, embracing outfits that we never wore from our childhood makes one uncomfortable. For instance, it is seen that adults are wearing hot pants or crop tops in beaches. In spite of, not being comfortable they are still flaunting it just to match up with the generation of social media. Therefore, in due course of time they completely overshadow themselves and adhere to lifestyles that are not sustainable. To conclude, the human race should abide by the trend that are viable. Furthermore, when it comes to clothing it is essential that we wear clothes that make us ecstatic. Moreover, it is important that living beings of numerous cast creed and religion look unique. I strongly believe this not an acceptable change.
Mankind across the globe adores to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
various clothing. As the entire earth is becoming a global market;
thus
, it has a significant impact on what we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
. Although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
wearing similar things is decreasing the discrimination among them, it is not beneficial for the culture of a country
as well
as the identity of an individual.

Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in dressing habits are effecting
significantly
on the cultural ecosystem.
For example
, in India for festivals or functions adults prefer their family members to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
traditional attires. This
also
creates a happy environment around the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. Nowadays it is
frequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the younger generation are wearing western outfits
that is
making the elderly population disheartened.
Hence
,
slowly
the popularity of Indian clothing is reducing.
Therefore
, the local weavers and traders are
also
finding it difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
.
Besides
that it is becoming difficult to identify a Dutch and an Indian national;
that is
not
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "beneficial progress".
a beneficial progress
for the civilization. Henceforth, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
that whips out the social foundation is detrimental.

On the other hand
, humankind are going through a crisis where they are not being able to protect their individualism.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
, it
is said
that whatever we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
play a crucial role on our personality.
Hence
, embracing outfits that we never wore from our childhood
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
one uncomfortable.
For instance
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that adults are wearing hot pants or crop tops in beaches.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
, not being comfortable they are
still
flaunting it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to match up with the generation of social media.
Therefore
, in due course of time they completely overshadow themselves and adhere to lifestyles that are not sustainable.

To conclude
, the human race should abide by the trend that are viable.
Furthermore
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to clothing it is essential that we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
clothes that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us ecstatic.
Moreover
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that living beings of numerous cast creed and religion look unique. I
strongly
believe this not an acceptable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
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IELTS essay hese days, most people wear similar clothes and therefore look very similar. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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