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Healthy and unhealthy people

Healthy and unhealthy people rw3L
Nowadays there are lots of healthy and unhealthy people. In general, in this essay I want to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the healthy and unhealthy people. Let us take a look at the advantages of healthy people. For example, the advantages of healthy people is feeling better, doing regular exercise, which can lift your mood and help you feel better. Also, it saves money as eating junk food, smoking, drinking sugary drinks or alcohol are expensive habits. Аccording to the report of the World Health Organization, the annual case of death which happens as the result of improper lifestyle is much higher than the number of people who die from other fatal diseases. Fewer health problems and leading a healthier lifestyle means a lower risk of developing many illnesses. On the other, hand the disadvantages of unhealthy people is being overweight or obese, tooth decay, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, heart disease and stoke, type 2 diabetes, osteoporosis, a number of cancer's depression, eating disorders, smoking and drinking alcohol. In conclusion, healthy and unhealthy people should not smoke and do other harmful things for their healthy life style.
Nowadays there are lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In general
, in this essay I want to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us take a look at the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is feeling better, doing regular exercise, which can lift your mood and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you feel better.
Also
, it saves money as eating junk food, smoking, drinking sugary drinks or alcohol are expensive habits.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Аccording
to the report of the World Health Organization, the annual case of death which happens as the result of improper lifestyle is much higher than the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
from other fatal diseases.

Fewer health problems and leading a healthier lifestyle means a lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of developing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
illnesses. On the other, hand the disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is being overweight or obese, tooth decay, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, heart disease and stoke, type 2 diabetes, osteoporosis, a number of cancer's depression, eating disorders, smoking and drinking alcohol.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not smoke and do other harmful things for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
life style.
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IELTS essay Healthy and unhealthy people

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
190 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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