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Healthcare should not be provided for free regardless of a person's income. The health of an individual is in their own hands. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Healthcare should not be provided for free regardless of a person's income. The health of an individual is in their own hands. v. 1
There is a view that medical subsidy should not be provided to citizens irrespective of their financial status, I completely disagree with this notion. Although there is no doubt that it is an individual's responsibility to take better care of their own health, in my opinion, free healthcare services are quintessential to provide good health for the people of below poverty line and to raise the economic growth of the country. To begin with, the first and foremost reason to support my viewpoint is that the majority of the people in the developing countries lie below the poverty line due to which they can not avail medications. The reason for this is they usually are uneducated and work on low wage jobs, as a result, they are unable to provide nutritive diet and medical facilities to their family members. For instance, according to a survey by 'The Times', a 30% of children in developing areas of Mumbai suffer from malnutrition as their parents have no money to feed them, therefore in that situations only government can provide helping hand. Secondly, my opinion is further bolstered by the factor that the good health of working employees defines the growth of the nation as employment sectors are largely responsible for proliferating the economy of the country. In this modern and hectic lifestyle, people are working relentlessly in various sectors such as education, health, agriculture and information technology, as a consequence, the productivity of these areas leads to the development of the nation. Henceforth, to produce a healthy workforce for the betterment of the country it is important for the government to provide healthcare facilities. The free medical coverage for the native people of the USA serves the best example of this approach. In conclusion, while everyone is responsible for keeping themselves fit, in my perspective, provision of medical subsidies by the government is vital not only for the financially poor people but also for the working professionals to uplift the economy of the country.
There is a view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
subsidy should not
be provided
to citizens irrespective of their financial status, I completely disagree with this notion. Although there is no doubt that it is an individual's responsibility to take better care of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, in my opinion, free healthcare services are quintessential to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of below poverty line and to raise the economic growth of the country.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
first
and foremost reason to support my viewpoint is that the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
lie below the poverty line due to which they can not avail medications.
The reason for this is
they
usually
are uneducated
and work on low wage jobs,
as a result
, they are unable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
nutritive diet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
facilities to their family members.
For instance
, according to a survey by 'The Times', a 30% of children in developing areas of Mumbai suffer from malnutrition as their parents have no money to feed them,
therefore
in that situations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
helping hand.

Secondly
, my opinion is
further
bolstered by the factor that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of working employees defines the growth of the nation as employment sectors are
largely
responsible for proliferating the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In this modern and hectic lifestyle,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are working
relentlessly
in various sectors such as education,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, agriculture and information technology, as a consequence, the productivity of these areas leads to the development of the nation. Henceforth, to produce a healthy workforce for the betterment of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
healthcare facilities. The free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
coverage for the native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the USA serves the best example of this approach.

In conclusion
, while everyone is responsible for keeping themselves fit, in my perspective, provision of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
subsidies by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is vital not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the
financially
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for the working professionals to uplift the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Healthcare should not be provided for free regardless of a person's income. The health of an individual is in their own hands. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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