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Health or wealth, which is better ?

Health or wealth, which is better ? 3ANjY
These are words of wisdom and none would question their validity. But there are times when people do value money over health. When a person has been deprived of a thing for too long, he longs for it: and as money is the commodity most in demand people want money to fulfill their needs. It can help rent or build a house. It can buy medicines, clothes, fruit and food: it can pay for the small pleasures of life as well as the big ones - from a cup of tea to a holiday abroad. Aesthetic and cultural enjoyment - tickets for the latest play, an evening at the opera, an expensive book, the latest L. P. - all these money alone can buy. There are far too many things which are out of the reach of the middle and the working classes. A good education, expensive sports and games like skating and golf, traveling in comfort, owning the gadgets which add comfort to life - these are things which people with limited incomes cannot buy. The unprecedented unemployment of the thirties was responsible for a great deal of human misery and resulted in the loss of self-respect and dignity. It also forced people to recognize the worth of money and resulted in a disproportionate attachment to the material world. There is no denying the value of money and the pleasure of enjoying it: but there are basic issues involved. If money can be got only after a huge amount of sacrifice, is it worth it? Is it really necessary for human beings to go on increasing their needs and temporary pleasures? Or would it be wiser to impose a self-restraint on one's needs? People get so busy in getting money that they forget how to enjoy it. Engaged in getting money, man has no time for his family or his friends and at times no time even for his health. On the other hand, the pursuit of money may adversely affect both his physical and spiritual health. He may overcome his initial scruples in his desire for power and money. The question then is how much evil is justified to get to the good. If one has to choose and even if there is no choice, health is better than wealth. A healthy person can look after not only himself but also others. He can be a useful member of society and of a family. He can be generous and sympathetic and be constructive in his thinking. An ailing person whether man or woman is a drain on others. And money can buy medicines, pay for a visit to a health resort or long hospitalization but it can neither buy health nor happiness. It is immaterial that a man can buy an expensive pair of shoes, if he has no shoes. Ultimately it is equally irrelevant whether a man is dressed up in the most expensive clothes, or drives the latest model of an expensive car. What is important is how good a human being he is. And for this he needs health. If he is healthy, his whole approach to life will be governed by this factor. Ask a man who has been through a long illness and an equally long spell of poverty and he will chose health. Money is the value of the man-made world - not of the world God created. Health is a god-given grace and let us be grateful for it.
These are words of wisdom and none would question their validity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do value
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. When a person has
been deprived
of a thing for too
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long
, he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longs
for it: and as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the commodity most in demand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to fulfill their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
. It can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
rent or build a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. It can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
medicines, clothes, fruit and food: it can pay for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
pleasures of life
as well
as the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
ones
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
from a cup of tea to a holiday abroad. Aesthetic and cultural enjoyment
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
tickets for the latest play, an evening at the opera, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
book, the latest L. P.
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
alone can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
. There are far too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things which are out of the reach of the middle and the working classes. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
sports and games like skating and golf, traveling in comfort, owning the gadgets which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
comfort to life
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
these are things which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with limited incomes cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
. The unprecedented unemployment of the thirties was responsible for a great deal of human misery and resulted in the loss of self-respect and dignity. It
also
forced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to recognize the worth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and resulted in a disproportionate attachment to the material world.

There is no denying the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and the pleasure of enjoying it:
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are basic issues involved. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
after a huge amount of sacrifice, is it worth it? Is it
really
necessary for human beings to go on increasing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
and temporary pleasures? Or would it be wiser to impose a self-restraint on one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
?
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
busy in getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that they forget how to enjoy it. Engaged in getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
has no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for his family or his friends and at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
even for his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
On the other hand
, the pursuit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
may
adversely
affect both his physical and spiritual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. He may overcome his initial scruples in his desire for power and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. The question then is how much evil
is justified
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

If one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
choose and even if there is no choice,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is better than wealth. A healthy person can look after not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
himself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
others. He can be a useful member of society and of a family. He can be generous and sympathetic and be constructive in his thinking. An ailing person whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
or woman is a drain on others. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
medicines, pay for a visit to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
resort or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
hospitalization
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can neither
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
nor happiness. It is immaterial that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
pair of shoes, if he has no shoes.
Ultimately
it is
equally
irrelevant whether a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
is dressed
up in the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
clothes, or drives the latest model of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
car. What is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
a human being he is. And for this he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. If he is healthy, his whole approach to life will
be governed
by this factor. Ask a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
who has been through a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
illness and an
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
spell of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
poverty and
he will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "choose"
chose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
is the value of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made world
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
not of the world God created.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
is a god-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
grace and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us be grateful for it.
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IELTS essay Health or wealth, which is better ?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
578 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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