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Health Issues of Overweight

Health Issues of Overweight Wqx1D
As the mushrooming of issues related to obesity in the society growing day by day the Health department is striving hard to take strong measures to solve this problem by making awareness about Problems with Over Weight, the route cause for this problem, how can we stay fit and healthy. Excess weight is always provides a way for many bad health diseases, some people from childhood face the problem due to typical heredity issues now a days it has become a quite common issue among all, the Food habits mainly Junk Foods, Sugary drinks are the major reason for this problem. Peoples craving towards sugary drinks, Junk foods are the major reason, I strongly feel Unpunctual Food habits late night suppers, skipping the morning breakfast are also main reasons for Obesity. So Government should make some strong campaigns on Over Weight, how we can overcome the problem and Serious Impact of Eating Junk Foods and Sugary Drinks we are not aware of the Conflicts that we have to go through if we ignore Over Weight, It is one of the Major reasons for Diabetes, BP and Heart Stroke so we must monitor our Cholesterol level and blood sugar level once in a while. It is not only spoiling our health but also it has symptoms like destroys a person mood, behavior and feeling lazy all the time, feeling tired and sleepy. It is spoiling the mental health of a person by not being active in any extra curriculum activities, I do strongly believe by having some physical exercise and Running every day we can reduce the Obesity /Over Weight steadily. In Future it will be a deadly disease will put people in trouble so keeping all these factors into consideration I feel adding Sports which Encourages physical Activities as a mandatory in school Education will helps to create more Awareness on Overweight because it inculcates the habit of leading a healthy life from Childhood and through kids the message will be Conveyed to the Parents as well regarding overweigh and its Conflicts.
As the mushrooming of issues related to obesity in the society growing day by day the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
department is striving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to take strong measures to solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
by making awareness about
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Problems
with Over
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Weight
, the route cause for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, how can we stay fit and healthy. Excess
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weight
is always provides a way for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
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health
diseases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from childhood face the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
due to typical heredity issues
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
it has become a quite common issue among all, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
habits
mainly
Junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Foods
, Sugary drinks are the major
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reason
for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. Peoples craving towards sugary drinks, Junk
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foods
are the major
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reason
, I
strongly
feel Unpunctual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
habits late night suppers, skipping the morning breakfast are
also
main
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reasons
for Obesity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strong campaigns on Over
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Weight
, how we can overcome the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and Serious Impact of Eating Junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Foods
and Sugary Drinks

we are not aware of the Conflicts that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go through if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
Over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Weight
, It is one of the Major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for Diabetes, BP and Heart Stroke
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
monitor our Cholesterol level and blood sugar level once in a while. It is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
spoiling our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it has symptoms like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroys
a person mood, behavior and feeling lazy all the time, feeling tired and sleepy. It is spoiling the mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of a person by not being active in any extra curriculum activities, I do
strongly
believe by having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical exercise and Running every day we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the Obesity /Over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Weight
steadily
. In
The comma is probably missing here: "Future, it".
Future it
will be a deadly disease will put
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
trouble


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
keeping all these factors into consideration I feel adding Sports which Encourages physical Activities as a mandatory in school Education will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to create more Awareness on Overweight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it inculcates the habit of leading a healthy life from Childhood and through kids the message will
be Conveyed
to the Parents
as well
regarding
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweigh
and its Conflicts.
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IELTS essay Health Issues of Overweight

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
342 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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