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health administration in nigeria

health administration in nigeria pKn1m
Good health improves the quality of life of people, health is a significant ingredient of life and a nation of sick people cannot carry out their tasks and responsibilities. I am the first of five children in a family from the western part of Nigeria. Anyone familiar with the culture would attest to the responsibility the firstborn wields from birth. I grew up with the “Superwoman” complex, I was determined to change the world and I spent minutes to hours planning how I was going to make it happen. I wanted to help people live better and more comfortable lives. I read and fell in love with “Gifted hands” by Dr. Ben Carson, the way he touched lives by giving one person the hope of living again appealed to me greatly and this led to me pursuing a career in medicine. My exposure to clinical medicine started in my fourth year of medical school and I began to realize the shortcomings in the management of healthcare, policies that guided the health care system and how much effect it had on the health of the people and their chances of survival. I then concluded that as a doctor I could go beyond my consulting room of changing one life at a time to effecting change to many more at once if I had the opportunity to manage healthcare on any level.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the quality of life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is a significant ingredient of life and a nation of sick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot carry out their tasks and responsibilities. I am the
first
of five children in a family from the western part of Nigeria. Anyone familiar with the culture would attest to the responsibility the firstborn wields from birth. I grew up with the “Superwoman” complex, I
was determined
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the world and I spent minutes to hours planning how I was going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it happen. I wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
better and more comfortable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
read and fell in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with “Gifted hands” by Dr. Ben Carson, the way he touched
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
by giving one person the hope of living again appealed to me
greatly
and this led to me pursuing a career in medicine. My exposure to clinical medicine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in my fourth year of medical school and I began to realize the shortcomings in the management of healthcare, policies that guided the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care system and how much effect it had on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and their chances of survival. I then concluded that as a doctor I could go beyond my consulting room of changing one life at a time to effecting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more at once if I had the opportunity to manage healthcare on any level.
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IELTS essay health administration in nigeria

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
230 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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