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Having a good university degree is important in finding a job. Do you agree or disagree?

Having a good university degree is important in finding a job. D2PAk
I strongly disagree with the statement that having a good Bachelor degree guarantees people can find good job for two main reasons, First and foremost, a university degree only provides theoretical knowledge, but practical training makes a person robust and capable in the workplace For example, in the medical field, student pass university exam with a good percentage which makes them eligible to get a job in the hospitals, but if students do not know how to check a patient, then they cannot save their jobs. Additionally, the other important skill is confidence, which is very important for a person, and this skill a person does not get from a university degree. In conclusion, even though many people argue that higher degree can help people to find job. Based on the reasons discussed, I believed both university degrees and practical knowledge are equally important.
I
strongly
disagree with the statement that having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Bachelor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
guarantees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can find
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for two main reasons,
First
and foremost, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provides theoretical knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
practical training
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a person robust and capable in the workplace
For example
, in the medical field, student pass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
exam with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
percentage which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them eligible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
The usual preposition for "get a job" is "with" for an organization. Revise: "with the hospitals".
in the hospitals
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if students do not know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
a patient, then they cannot save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
Additionally
, the other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
is confidence, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a person, and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
a person does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree.

In conclusion
,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Based on the reasons discussed, I believed both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
and practical knowledge are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

IELTS essay Having a good university degree is important in finding a job.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
144 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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