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Ha Long Bay - my favorite place

Ha Long Bay - my favorite place okgyb
Located in the northeast of Vietnam, Halong Bay was awarded World Heritage Site status in 1994. It is the most popular destination for tourists to this part of Vietnam and is made up of approximately 3000 islands which rise out of the water and have a magical and mysterious aura about them. The islands are made up of grottos and beaches that have been created by the wind and the water that surrounds them although Vietnamese legend says that the islands were created by a mountain dwelling dragon. He is said to have carved out the landscape with his tail before plunging into the water which then filled the landscape only leaving the peaks of the rocks sticking out. These ‘islands’ can be viewed from the relative comfort of a boat and sailing holidays for singles and groups are common, but Halong Bay also has other things to offer. There are many caves in the Bay which tourists come to explore, some of which have been illuminated, specifically for their benefit. As well as the caves, Cat Ba National Park offers great opportunities for hiking and seeing more of the stunning scenery. The way to get to Halong Bay is via Halong City, where you can organise a trip to Halong Bay if you did not do this prior to arriving in Vietnam. There is no doubt that the best way to see Halong Bay and its stunning landscape is from the water. Part of most organised tours of this region will include a boat trip through the bay and possibly even the chance to sleep on the boat. There are also many boating and sailing holidays for singles and groups available which will offer you the chance to sail through the bay in varying degrees of comfort and style. Whatever time of year you choose to visit, it is likely to be affected by the weather. Visiting between February and April means the weather will be cool and potentially rainy, with fog also becoming a problem. However in the summer months, the area is prone to tropical storms so boat trips will be subject to change. If you are visiting Vietnam, even for a short time, then Halong Bay has to be on your list of places to see. It has a unique and spectacular landscape and has to be seen to be truly appreciated.
Located in the northeast of Vietnam,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Halong
Bay
was awarded
World Heritage Site status in 1994. It is the most popular destination for tourists to this part of Vietnam and
is made
up of approximately 3000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
islands
which rise out of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and have a magical and mysterious aura about them. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
islands
are made
up of
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "grottoes", the plural form of the noun 'grotto'?
grottos
and beaches that have
been created
by the wind and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
that surrounds them although Vietnamese legend says that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
islands
were created
by a mountain dwelling dragon. He
is said
to have carved out the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
landscape
with his tail
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
plunging into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
which then filled the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
landscape
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
leaving the peaks of the rocks sticking out.

These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
‘islands’
can
be viewed
from the relative comfort of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boat
and sailing holidays for singles and groups are common,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible spelling mistake found.
Halong
Bay
also
has other things to offer. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
caves in the Bay which tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to explore,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of which have
been illuminated
,
specifically
for their benefit.
As well
as the caves, Cat Ba National Park offers great opportunities for hiking and seeing more of the stunning scenery. The way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Halong
Bay is via
Possible spelling mistake found.
Halong
City, where you can
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
a trip to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Halong
Bay if you did not do this prior to arriving in Vietnam. There is no doubt that the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
Possible spelling mistake found.
Halong
Bay and its stunning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
landscape
is from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. Part of most
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
tours of this region will include a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boat
trip through the bay and
possibly
even the chance to sleep on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boat
. There are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
boating and sailing holidays for singles and groups available which will offer you the chance to sail through the bay in varying degrees of comfort and style.

Whatever time of year you choose to visit, it is likely to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the weather. Visiting between February and April means the weather will be cool and
potentially
rainy, with fog
also
becoming a problem.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
in the summer months, the area is prone to tropical storms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boat
trips will be subject to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

If you are visiting Vietnam, even for a short time, then
Possible spelling mistake found.
Halong
Bay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be on your list of places to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
. It has a unique and spectacular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
landscape
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
to be
truly
appreciated.
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IELTS essay Ha Long Bay - my favorite place

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
396 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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