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Express different views on animal extinction

Express different views on animal extinction KrrN
Technology and innovation is taking new turns every passing day putting environment at stake. Nature not only includes trees but also animals. We humans are causing continuous damage to nature. One of the adverse effects of this is animal extinction. There are people who believe in nature as well people who believe in technology. I wish to take the side of the first category yet I would like to explain both the views. People who put human kind at the first place think that the world resources are very limited hence why to share them with animals which are not one of us also they think the efforts and time we put to save animals is enough to solve all the problems of humans. People who consider saving species think that the animals are dying only because of the technological advancements and radiation released by human beings so we are responsible in saving them. In my view we are not only responsible but also have a need to save animals. Have you heard of bush fires of Australia? Isn't it because of the human negligence? It is because of Australia's evolving technologies and toxic chemical's evaporation. I would like to give an example. In my childhood I used to watch a cow everyday near my house. The cow gives milk for us. One day she ate few wastes from an industry and the next day she died. We lost someone who full fills our needs. To conclude, I would like to say that animals and human should go hand-in-hand to protect the nature and earth in order to do that technological advancements should go animal friendly.
Technology and innovation is taking new turns every passing day putting environment at stake.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nature
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
includes trees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are causing continuous damage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
. One of the adverse effects of this is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
extinction. There are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
as well
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe in technology. I wish to take the side of the
first
category
yet
I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
both the views.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
kind at the
first
place
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the world resources are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
limited
hence
why to share them with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
which are not one of us
also
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the efforts and time we put to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to solve all the problems of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
consider saving species
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are dying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the technological advancements and radiation released by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we are responsible in saving them. In my view we are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
responsible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
have a need to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. Have you heard of bush fires of Australia? Isn't it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
negligence? It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of Australia's evolving technologies and toxic chemical's evaporation. I would like to give an example. In my childhood I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a cow everyday near my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. The cow gives milk for us. One day she ate few wastes from an industry and the
next
day she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
. We lost someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
full fills our needs.

To conclude
, I would like to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
should go hand-in-hand to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
and earth in order to do that technological advancements should go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
friendly.
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IELTS essay Express different views on animal extinction

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
276 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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