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In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations. GYYQ
In the modern world, the expected life of people is growing. Our country is 109th in the world in terms of life expectancy. In 2020 life expectancy was 73years in Kazakhstan. The aim of essay is to express information and take off solutions. What complications appear with expected life of individuals? There are a lot of issues with this theme. I want to talk about two difficulties which are important. It is a fact, the increase life expectancy of population is consumption for country. Government must provide for the retirement fund for senior citizens. For example, humans are retired in 60years. They do not work for country. Although government pay retirement them from budget. In addition, individuals ill more when average of life expectancy and weak immunity. They need medical treatment and a lot of places from hospital. Nowadays, medical treatment resources is increasing. Loneless and homeles are growing. Noone looks after to senior people. Even though government have built nursing homes and help for medical care. Solutions of these difficulties are rising retirement age. Because it is benefit for country with budget. Government should build special hospital for elders. Because senior citizens often ill and share. Medical care and treatment need to elders. To conclude, society should help to humans for peaceful and healthy lifestyle. Because young individuals should show respect to elders. Society is nothing without population.
In the modern world, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
is growing. Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is 109th in the world in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy. In 2020
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy was 73years in Kazakhstan. The aim of essay is to express information and take off solutions. What complications appear with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of individuals?

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
issues with this theme. I want to talk about two difficulties which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. It is a fact, the increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy of population is consumption for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide for the retirement fund for senior citizens.
For example
, humans
are retired
in 60years. They do not work for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
pay retirement them from budget.
In addition
, individuals ill more when average of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy and weak immunity. They need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
treatment and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
places from hospital. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
treatment resources is increasing.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Loneless
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
homeles
are growing.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Noone
looks after to senior
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
have built nursing homes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
care. Solutions of these difficulties are rising retirement age.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it is benefit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with budget.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should build special hospital for elders.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
senior citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
ill and share.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Medical
care and treatment need to elders.

To conclude
, society should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to humans for peaceful and healthy lifestyle.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
young individuals should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
respect to elders. Society is nothing without population.
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IELTS essay In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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