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GRANDPARENTS TAKE CARE OF THE CHILDREN WHE THERI PARENTS ARE OUT AT WORK. WHAT ARE THE ADVENTAGES AND POSSIBLE DISADVANTAGE?

GRANDPARENTS TAKE CARE OF THE CHILDREN WHE THERI PARENTS ARE OUT AT WORK. WHAT ARE THE ADVENTAGES AND POSSIBLE DISADVANTAGE? b210P
Owing to the burgeoning modernizations, both parents are working in the corporate world because they meet the financial requirement of the family. Due to this, they depend on their parents to keep their babies. Although it is advantageous, there are also some drawbacks too. Both advantages, along with disadvantages, are elaborated further. To commence with, there are three advantages to keep children with their grandparents. Firstly, if grandparents always stay at home, children never feel lonely and they get the warmth and love. Moreover, grandparents also keeps their grandsons in very clever way. Secondly, they also assist their grandson in their studies. In addition, they also can go to school to drop them and pick them. Thirdly, they also impart knowledge about their culture, ethics and moral value to the children and they also familiar to children with religion and rituals. In addition, grandsons are safe in presence of their grandparents. For example, according to a report published in 'The Hindu' says, around 63% of children have good knowledge, culture and ethic because they spend the elementary stage of life with their grandparents. However, there are some possible limitations of the grandparents. Firstly, due to generation gap, if some old people not develop their understanding with their children, this leads to some adverse consequences. Moreover, if grandparents not develop their interest and understanding power with children, negative thoth will produce in both brain. Secondly, they are not professional in taking care of children. By this, I mean the health of children are more vulnerable, so one needs to take extra precaution while dealing with children. Finally, in an emergency, one needs to take action quickly. Like, when children get hurt by any object grandparents might not able to do this due to their physical limits. In conclusion, although there is some limitation, I think, grandparents are better people in this world to take care of the children at home and child who have this opportunity are very fortunate according to me.
Owing to the burgeoning
Possible spelling mistake found.
modernizations
, both parents are working in the corporate world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the financial requirement of the family. Due to this, they depend on their parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their babies. Although it is advantageous, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks too. Both advantages, along with disadvantages,
are elaborated
further
.

To commence with, there are three advantages to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
.
Firstly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
always stay at home,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
never feel
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lonely and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the warmth and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
their grandsons in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
clever way.
Secondly
, they
also
assist their grandson in their studies.
In addition
, they
also
can go to school to drop them and pick them.
Thirdly
, they
also
impart knowledge about their culture, ethics and moral value to the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they
also
familiar to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with religion and rituals.
In addition
, grandsons are safe in presence of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
.
For example
, according to a report published in 'The Hindu' says, around 63% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
knowledge, culture and ethic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they spend the elementary stage of life with their grandparents.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible limitations of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
.
Firstly
, due to generation gap, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
not develop their understanding with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, this leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adverse consequences.
Moreover
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
not develop their interest and understanding power with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
Possible spelling mistake found.
thoth
will produce in both brain.
Secondly
, they are not professional in taking care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. By this, I mean the health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more vulnerable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
one needs to take extra precaution while dealing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Finally
, in an emergency, one needs to take action
quickly
. Like, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hurt by any object
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
might not able to do this due to their physical limits.

In conclusion
, although there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limitation, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
are better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in this world to take care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at home and child who have this opportunity are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fortunate according to me.
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IELTS essay GRANDPARENTS TAKE CARE OF THE CHILDREN WHE THERI PARENTS ARE OUT AT WORK. WHAT ARE THE ADVENTAGES AND POSSIBLE DISADVANTAGE?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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