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Govt. should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? v.2

These days, Government spending is a crucial topic to discuss. Some say Government should contribute their funds for the development of railway rather than roads. I believe, Government should invest in both mediums as both are the most commonly used medium of transportation. Spending on one area may undervalue the importance of other. Contributions to the betterment of the railway infrastructure is instrumental for the citizens of the country in many ways. This is because many local people use this medium to travel from one city to other city. It’s a great source of tax revenue for the Government. It carry a lot of people in one point of time. For instance in my hometown most people from low income group travel to their hometown cities to meet their relatives or to celebrate any festival would use railway as their source of transportation. Furthermore, railways are environment friendly, as they emit less pollution than the road vehicles. On the other side, Roads are a means of transporting with in and outside the city from one city to other. without travelling via roads one cannot reach any place in the city. If government extend their funds in this area then it will be beneficial for all in general. Hence, road is used for any daily life purpose, like visiting shopping malls, going office for work or travelling occasionally like going from one city to another. we cannot undermine the importance and position of roads in our daily life. For commuting to some places, railway travel is not available For example we can use road to visit our nearest shops for groceries, as railway transport is not available neither feasible for such shorter distances. It can be concluded, that both railway and roads are useful for the citizens and are an important way of commuting. Therefore, I think Government should spend appropriate funds on the development of the rail and road infrastructure. As by doing so will have a great boost to the economy and will also reduce commuting issues for general public.
These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
spending is a crucial topic to discuss.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should contribute their funds for the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. I believe,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should invest in both mediums as both are the most
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
medium of transportation. Spending on one area may undervalue the importance of other.

Contributions to the betterment of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
infrastructure is instrumental for the citizens of the country in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this medium to travel from one city to other city. It’s a great source of tax revenue for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
. It
After ‘It’, use the third-person verb form “carries”.
carry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in one point of time.
For instance
in my hometown most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from low income group travel to their hometown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their relatives or to celebrate any festival would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
as their source of transportation.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
are environment friendly, as they emit less pollution than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
vehicles.

On the other side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Roads
are a means of transporting with in and outside the city from one city to other.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
without
travelling via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
one cannot reach any place in the city. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
extend their funds in this area then it will be beneficial for all
in general
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for any daily life purpose, like visiting shopping malls, going office for work or travelling
occasionally
like going from one city to another.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
we
cannot undermine the importance and position of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
in our daily life. For commuting to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
travel is not available
For example
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
to visit our nearest shops for groceries, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
transport is not available neither feasible for such shorter distances.

It can
be concluded
, that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are useful for the citizens and are an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
way of commuting.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should spend appropriate funds on the development of the rail and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
infrastructure. As by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
will have a great boost to the economy and will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
commuting issues for
Consider using only “public” to avoid wordiness.
general public
.
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A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay 1. Govt should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement? -

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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