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Govt. should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? v.1

Govt. should spend money on railways rather than roads. with the statement? v. 1
The governing body that makes huge plans and sets of structure, invest the large bulk for the benefit of each individual healthcare, transportation, communication and much more. Nowadays, with the rapid growth of population the complications are growing abruptly, especially when it comes to commuting on daily routine. I completely agree with the notion of spending more on this. Firstly, some partial amount must infuse on the railway system to regulate it in a proper way that suits the environment which is Eco friendly. Pollution results asthma, skin cancer and many other diseases. This also effect the greenhouse gas emission. Each country wants to be a part of “MONTREAL PROTOCOL” policy. Whose aim is to reduce the carbon gas emission as possible and this is the only possible solution to set a railroad infrastructure so that every citizen wish travel via train. Secondly, the commuting via railway as compared to road is costing economical and pocket friendly for a person as compared to the fuel cost. The government should start new railway infrastructure with rail stations like European countries within a city. This would allow each passenger to save from the rush and reach the destiny on time. Finally, favouring only to invest in Railways system will make the situation worse and this may not help out in the country’s economy. E. g. Disable, cyclist commute to their destination using their own personal vehicle they can’t use the broken road. Furthermore, the logistics services use heavy truck vehicles to provide supply in will be affected. Pakistan’s communication roads are well exemplary which require a huge amount of investment. The roads showcase the beauty only when the Cricket players from foreign state arrive. Overall, on serious note the Govt. Invest the equal amount of shares on the both communication systems.
The governing body that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
huge plans and sets of structure, invest the large bulk for the benefit of each individual healthcare, transportation, communication and much more. Nowadays, with the rapid growth of population the complications are growing
abruptly
,
especially
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to commuting on daily routine. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion of spending more on this.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
partial amount
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
infuse on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
system to regulate it
Consider replacing "in a proper way" with the adverb for "proper"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a proper way
that suits the environment which is Eco friendly. Pollution results asthma, skin cancer and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other diseases. This
also
effect the greenhouse gas emission. Each country wants to be a part of “MONTREAL PROTOCOL” policy. Whose aim is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the carbon gas emission as possible and this is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible solution to set a railroad infrastructure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that every citizen wish travel via train.

Secondly
, the commuting via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
is costing economical and pocket friendly for a person as compared to the fuel cost. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
infrastructure with rail stations like European countries within a city. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
each passenger to save from the rush and reach the destiny on time.

Finally
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'favouring' is British English.
favouring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Railways
system will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the situation worse and this may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
out in the country’s economy.
There should be no space here: "e.g.".
E. g.
Disable, cyclist commute to their destination using their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
personal vehicle they can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the broken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
.
Furthermore
, the logistics services
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
heavy truck vehicles to provide supply in will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
. Pakistan’s communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are well exemplary which require a huge amount of investment. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
showcase the beauty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when the Cricket players from foreign state arrive.

Overall
, on serious note the Govt. Invest the equal amount of shares on the both communication systems.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
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Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Govt. should spend money on railways rather than roads. with the statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
299 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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