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Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. with this statement? dG86
Nowadays, our life has changed from our ancestors’ style and in this modern life, we need some kind of supports, especially in mobile aspects. It is because people become more mobile and active rather than in previous decades. It might be the reason why some people think that much money should be spent on new line constructions, which connect some cities, to bolster up the human activities, whilst others think that it is better to use the fund for improving the existing public transports. Therefore, in this essay, I will examine both views and provide a plausible conclusion. To begin, new rail line lines might suit for busy people such as businessmen or women. It is because they have dense schedules in different areas. The new line lines might have a sophisticated technology that made transporting matters more efficient and faster. For example, an old train may take 5-6 hours for transporting from Pingtung to Taipei, while a Shinkansen (high-speed railway) can take only 2 hours. Thence, this technology can support modern and busy people to move from one place to another in an efficient way. On the other hand, not every person think like that. It is because there is a group of people, who believe that public funds should be spent on fixing or improving the previous public transports. It might be true because some of the old transportations are still fully functioning and only need a little repairment to be able to accommodate the citizens’ activities again. For instance, in Indonesia, there is a busway, it has been operated in a decade, but since last year, it began to have many engine problems. Regarding that matter, we can choose to take the repairment than buy the new one. Nevertheless, in a short-term period, it will start to break down again and if you can count the money that is used for several repairments, it can cost a whole brand-new bus, which is more worth. In a nutshell, new lines may give some people the opportunity to save a lot of time and the substantial thing, their time can be allocated to take care some of their businesses, which what they want, whereas fixing the existing transportations can not fully supporting our new modern life. Hence, in my honest opinion, I would choose that public money should be spent on a new railway that adapts the new technology to adjust to our recent situation.
Nowadays, our life has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
from our ancestors’ style and in this modern life, we need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of supports,
especially
in mobile aspects. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become more mobile and active
rather
than in previous decades. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be the reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that much money should
be spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
constructions, which connect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cities, to bolster up the human activities, whilst others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the fund for improving the existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transports.
Therefore
, in this essay, I will examine both views and provide a plausible conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
rail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
suit for busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as businessmen or women. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have dense schedules in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have a sophisticated technology that made transporting matters more efficient and faster.
For example
, an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
train may take 5-6 hours for transporting from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pingtung
to Taipei, while a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shinkansen
(high-speed railway) can take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2 hours. Thence, this technology can support modern and busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from one place to another
Consider replacing "in an efficient way" with the adverb for "efficient"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an efficient way
.

On the other hand
, not every person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
like that. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
funds should
be spent
on fixing or improving the previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transports. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be true
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
transportations are
still
fully
functioning and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
need a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
repairment to be able to accommodate the citizens’ activities again.
For instance
, in Indonesia, there is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
busway
, it has
been operated
in a decade,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
since last year, it began to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
engine problems. Regarding that matter, we can choose to take the repairment than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
one.
Nevertheless
, in a short-term period, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to break down again and if you can count the money
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for several repairments, it can cost a whole brand-new bus, which is more worth.

In a nutshell,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
may give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the opportunity to save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time and the substantial thing, their time can
be allocated
to take care
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of their businesses, which what they want, whereas fixing the existing transportations can not
fully
The verb 'can' requires base form of the verb: "support"
supporting
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
modern life.
Hence
, in my honest opinion, I would choose that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
money should
be spent
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
railway that adapts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technology to adjust to our recent situation.
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IELTS essay Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
406 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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