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Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. with this statement? JjGe
Over the past few decades, there has been a dramatic change in transportation methods. There are various opinions as to whether governments should invest more money in rail network or in roads. Yet, there are some disagreement with the mentioned notion; I am of the opinion that an equal budget should be allocated to both of them for several reasons, which are discussed in this essay. There are some reasons linked to why it is beneficial to spend more money on railways than roads. First and foremost, it is a well-established fact that modern trains are known as eco-friendly means of transportation on the ground of using electric or steam power. In other words, trains do not emit pollution as much as cars, and thus, they can play an integral (prominent) role in societies to curb emissions. Moreover, trains can carry more passengers compared with vehicles in a short amount of time without getting stuck in traffic congestion or having an accident. This, in turn, has a significant effect on long journeys. As a result, it seems that communities, in general, city dwellers, in particular, can reap the great benefits of travelling by train, which is a justification to fund train’s infrastructure more. Conversely, people cannot travel by train everywhere because of train stations' limitation; therefore, they prefer to drive their cars. To do so, it appears that governments should allocate more budgets for the development of roads’ infrastructures. Indeed, existing network does not have enough capacity for such large volumes of vehicles making traffic jams inevitable, especially during rush hours. Hence, spending more money on constructing more capable roads and highways can be seen as the best option to mitigate the severity of the given problem. In conclusion, it seems that although trains would have more outstanding benefits, I reaffirm again that due to the aforementioned reasons, governments should invest the money equally in both sectors.
Over the past few decades, there has been a dramatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in transportation methods. There are various opinions
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should invest more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in rail network or in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
Yet
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disagreement with the mentioned notion; I am of the opinion that an equal budget should
be allocated
to both of them for several reasons, which
are discussed
in this essay.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons linked to why it is beneficial to spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on railways than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
First
and foremost, it is a well-established fact that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
are known
as eco-friendly means of transportation on the ground of using electric or steam power.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
do not emit pollution as much as cars, and
thus
, they can play an integral (prominent) role in societies to curb emissions.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
can carry more passengers compared with vehicles in a short amount of time without getting stuck in traffic congestion or having an accident. This, in turn, has a significant effect on long journeys.
As a result
, it seems that communities,
in general
, city dwellers,
in particular
, can reap the great benefits of travelling by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
, which is a justification to fund
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train’s
infrastructure more.

Conversely
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot travel by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
everywhere
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
stations' limitation;
therefore
, they prefer to drive their cars. To do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it appears that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should allocate more budgets for the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads’
infrastructures.
Indeed
, existing network does not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
capacity for such large volumes of vehicles making traffic jams inevitable,
especially
during rush hours.
Hence
, spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on constructing more capable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and highways can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as the best option to mitigate the severity of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
problem.

In conclusion
, it seems that although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
would have more outstanding benefits, I reaffirm again that due to the aforementioned reasons,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should invest the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
equally
in both sectors.
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IELTS essay Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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