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Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In recent times, as traffic congestion has become one of the major issues, transportation infrastructure is required to be ameliorated. Thus, it is argued that the the government ought to augment the expenditure on the construction of more railways in lieu of car roads. It is believed, in my opinion, that they should develop not only railways but also motorways. To commence with, There are a number of rationales for the development of railways. Firstly, the construction of roads for trains will have a positive influence on the environment. That is, numerous people still drive vehicles emitting pernicious gases, such as Carbon Dioxide, which is responsible for the increase in the level of air pollution. For instance, In Switzerland the Swiss government are currently expending more money on railroads in an attempt to keep the environment clean. Furthermore, a large number of people in urban areas take advantages of trains. In other words, Since the majority of amenities, such as educational institutes and workplace, are situated in metropolitan areas, more and more people commute to work or go to school. Nonetheless, the government are obliged to increase the expenditure on the amelioration of motorways. The major reason is that despite the government efforts, it is still difficult to solve traffic problems, as individuals still prefer to drive private vehicles due to its convenience. Therefore, People are still struggling with traffic congestion in the central city, especially in the early morning. In order to improve the traffic situation, The government should impose a much higher fine on those who have disobeyed traffic rules than before so that it will help prevent traffic crimes. In conclusion, although it would be expensive to construct more railroads, the government should increase the expenditure on the development of railways rather than motorways for the purpose of solving the environmental issues and traffic congestion.
In recent times, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion has become one of the major issues, transportation infrastructure
is required
to
be ameliorated
.
Thus
, it
is argued
that
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only “the” or “the” is left.
the the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
ought to augment the expenditure on the construction of more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
in lieu of car roads. It
is believed
, in my opinion, that they should develop not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
‘motorways’ is a common British expression. Consider using expressions more common to American English.
motorways
. To commence with, There are a number of rationales for the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
.
Firstly
, the construction of roads for trains will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence on the environment.
That is
, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
drive vehicles emitting pernicious gases, such as Carbon Dioxide, which is responsible for the increase in the level of air pollution.
For instance
, In Switzerland the Swiss
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
are
currently
expending more money on railroads in an attempt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the environment clean.
Furthermore
,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use “many” or “numerous”
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in urban areas take advantages of trains.
In other words
, Since the majority of amenities, such as educational institutes and workplace,
are situated
in metropolitan areas, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
commute to work or go to school. Nonetheless, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
are obliged
to increase the expenditure on the amelioration of
‘motorways’ is a common British expression. Consider using expressions more common to American English.
motorways
. The major reason is that despite the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
efforts, it is
still
difficult to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
problems, as individuals
still
prefer to drive private vehicles due to its convenience.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are
still
struggling with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion in the central city,
especially
in the early morning. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
situation, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should impose a much higher fine on those who have disobeyed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
crimes.
In conclusion
, although it would be expensive to construct more railroads, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should increase the expenditure on the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
rather
than
‘motorways’ is a common British expression. Consider using expressions more common to American English.
motorways
for the purpose of solving the environmental issues and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion.
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IELTS essay Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
308 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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