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Governments should introduce healthcare which prevents illness rather than cures it. How far do you agree with this statement. Give reasons for your answet and include any relevant examples from your knowledge.

Governments should introduce healthcare which prevents illness rather than cures it. How far Give reasons for your answet and include any relevant examples from your knowledge. XqLPq
Improved social life steadily also means that people's health must improve, thus the government is one of the crucial components to help the community have exceeding life. As far as I'm concerned, creating a legitimate medical system will contribute positively to the patient instead of curing it. The first and most important consideration is that the health system must be constructed in such a way that it is safe for people to utilize. This also implies that the legality of medical expenses should be done in such a way that individuals are encouraged to use them for their health. In today's modern world, each individual must maintain good health in order to live a healthy and balanced life. A few disorders that don’t directly assault the immune system can be cleared up on their own after a few days by following a scientific diet and engaging in other body-beneficial activities. In addition, there are cases where people have to take care of themselves when there are no relatives around, this is why it is necessary to make reasonable policies to ensure the patient's health recovers in the most stable way. People can use the simplest example to get the community enthusiastic, such as the government organizing a health event to encourage people to join, or schools demonstrating how to balance the diet in a sensible way. Nonetheless, there are still some problems we can't completely depend on healthcare for such as cancer or car accident that can't be treated by healthcare services. In such instances, it’s preferable to use medicine together with recuperation at the hospital. The government should concentrate on health topics that boost us to become more eager about it and to gain a better understanding of that issue. Taking everything into account, there are innumerable ways to help people fighting diseases without cure if the government can provide a balanced system of health for different health problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Improved
social life
steadily
also
means that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
,
thus
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is one of the crucial components to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the community have exceeding life. As far as I'm concerned, creating a legitimate medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
will contribute
positively
to the patient
instead
of curing it.

The
first
and most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
consideration is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be constructed
in such a way that it is safe for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to utilize. This
also
implies that the legality of medical expenses should
be done
in such a way that individuals
are encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern world, each individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
maintain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a healthy and balanced life. A few disorders that don’t
directly
assault the immune
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
can
be cleared
up on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
after a few days by following a scientific diet and engaging in other body-beneficial activities.
In addition
, there are cases where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take care of themselves when there are no relatives around, this is why it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
reasonable policies to ensure the patient's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
recovers in the most stable way.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the simplest example to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the community enthusiastic, such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
organizing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
, or schools demonstrating how to balance the diet
Consider replacing "in a sensible way" with the adverb for "sensible"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a sensible way
.

Nonetheless, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems we can't completely depend on healthcare for such as cancer or car accident that can't
be treated
by healthcare services. In such instances, it’s preferable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
medicine together with recuperation at the hospital. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should concentrate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
topics that boost us to become more eager about it and to gain a better understanding of that issue.

Taking everything into account, there are innumerable ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fighting diseases without cure if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can provide a balanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems
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IELTS essay Governments should introduce healthcare which prevents illness rather than cures it. How far Give reasons for your answet and include any relevant examples from your knowledge.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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