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Governments should have strict laws to protect the wild animals living within their borders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Governments should have strict laws to protect the wild animals living within their borders. dlmwd
Nowadays, wild animals that are on the red list need to be preserved. I think governments should find out some measures to rescue them from hunting and attack. It could not agree more if these methods become strict laws because these are maybe the only way to help animals to be free in their habitat. This essay will focus more details about these problems and clear up your mind in animals’s protection. First of all, wild animals are on the verge of extinction due to human’s hunts. Humans in recent times always want to exploit a lot. Because of oil spills by humans, the equatic systems have been destroyed and organsm under oceans have diedjust by human errors. In other cases, logging leads to the damaged forest and animals have no place to hide. Also, humans spread a ton of carbon footprint, leading to greenhouse effects and gradually creatures living in cold zones lose their habitats. Futhermore, some people violently oppose wild animals. They believe wild animals are very angry and dangerous so they want to give them up and do not need the government to obtain law for protecting wild animals. Some hunt wild animals illegally or smuggle wood for their personal profits so they do not advocate laws to protect animals. Narrow laws support a lot ofwild animals from extinction. Laws including punishments can become a shield against illegal hunting. Organizing distinctly with serious security could help animals avoid attack. Strict edicts about human’s activities such as the oil industry, timber industry could help animals’ environments not to be affected. From my point of view, the only thing that the animals need right now are being protected and saved. Earth is shared to all animals in the world, even humans. We have taken enough and the rest belong to animals. Therefore, we must not treat animals like that and the government needs to have a solution to save them from the bad people.
Nowadays, wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
that are on the red list
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be preserved
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should find out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures to rescue them from hunting and attack. It could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
more if these methods become strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these are maybe the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to be free in their habitat. This essay will focus more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about these problems and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
up your mind in
Did you mean "animal’s" or "animals’"?
animals’s
protection.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are on the verge of extinction due to
Possible typo. Did you mean: "human hunts"?
human’s hunts
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Humans
in recent times always want to exploit a lot.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of oil spills by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
equatic
systems have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
organsm
under oceans have
Possible spelling mistake found.
diedjust
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
errors. In other cases, logging leads to the damaged forest and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have no place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
spread a ton of carbon footprint, leading to greenhouse effects and
gradually
creatures living in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
zones lose their habitats.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
violently
oppose wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. They believe wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
angry and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they want to give them up and do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to obtain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
for protecting wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
hunt wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
illegally
or smuggle wood for their personal profits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not advocate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
to protect animals.

Narrow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
support a lot
Possible spelling mistake found.
ofwild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from extinction.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Laws
including punishments can become a shield against illegal hunting. Organizing
distinctly
with serious security could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
avoid attack. Strict edicts about
Possible typo. Did you mean: "human activities"?
human’s activities
such as the oil industry, timber industry could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals’
environments not to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.

From my point of view, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
are
being protected
and saved. Earth
is shared
to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in the world, even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. We have taken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and the rest belong to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Therefore
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not treat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
like that and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to have a solution to save them from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
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IELTS essay Governments should have strict laws to protect the wild animals living within their borders.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
325 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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