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Government spend most of the money on arts. Some people agreed on that while others believe that government should spend money in health and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Government spend most of the money on arts. Some people agreed on that while others believe that government should spend money in health and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion kbObN
Opinions are differ on where exectely authorities should spend the fund. Genrally, state utilize their financial resources in the field of arts and culture. A group of people are favour with the idea of money spending whereas others think that state authorities should spend the money on basic needs of human rather than others such as in the sector of health and education. This essay will not only discuss both views but my opinion also will be highlighted while concluding this. Focusing on the first view, most important point put forward from the supporters who support to spend money on arts is that history gives a glance of nations. By this I mean that, historical places and cultural activities are back bone of every country. it is a fundamental duty of government to protect that with taking proper care of the place. So it is fruitful to utilize currency on these places in order to protect nation's pride. Moreove, history is the only one option from which youth can get knowledge about the culture of their own motherland. In other words, today's generation is not aware about ancient's struggle for saving the nation. To add to this, younger one can get practical knowledge from the historical places. As an example, statue of unity at America. American government spent 1000$ to make this and today it is as well maintained as earlier and Americans get inspiration from that to stay with unity. Hence, use money for historical places provide moral values to natives as well as government. On the other hand later viewers have their own view points. First important point put forward from them is that mankind's well-being is far more important rather that conservation of history. To elaborate it, in country there are more than half population who are suffering from the different deacease due to lack of awareness about health protection. Ergo, authorities ought to invest money to arrange some awareness campus on health so people can combat with the issue of health problems. Apart from this, education is also need funding support from the government to improve the technical resources in the same. To examplifie it, Italian government spend 32m $ on renovation of historical places which was as sufficient to provide the education to 25% of children from whole population; who can not afford the educational fees. So, in order to provide priority need to citizens government should spend more money on that things rather than faculty of arts. To conclude and offer my position, I would support the later view than the former one to reason being I believe that provide knowledge and safety is an essential things. However, investing money on ancient gallery is also important for introducing nation's pride but not as important as basic needs.
Opinions are
Consider using a past participle here: "differed".
differ
on where
Possible spelling mistake found.
exectely
authorities should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
the fund.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Genrally
, state utilize their financial resources in the field of arts and culture. A group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spending whereas others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that state authorities should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of human
rather
than others such as in the sector of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and education. This essay will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
discuss both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my opinion
also
will
be highlighted
while concluding this.

Focusing on the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
point put forward from the supporters who support to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on arts is that history gives a glance of nations. By this I mean that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and cultural activities are back bone of every country.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is a fundamental duty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to protect that with taking proper care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is fruitful to utilize currency on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in order to protect nation's pride.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Moreove
, history is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one option from which youth can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
knowledge about the culture of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
motherland. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's generation is not aware about ancient's struggle for saving the nation. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to this, younger one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
practical knowledge from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. As an example, statue of unity at America. American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
spent
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$1000".
1000$
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
it is
as well
maintained as earlier and Americans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
inspiration from that to stay with unity.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
moral values to natives
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand later viewers have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
points.
First
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
point put forward from them is that mankind's well-being is far more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
rather
that conservation of history. To elaborate it, in country there are more than half population who are suffering from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
deacease
due to lack of awareness about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
protection. Ergo, authorities ought to invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to arrange
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
awareness campus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can combat with the issue of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems. Apart from this, education is
also
Consider using a past participle here: "needed".
need
funding support from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the technical resources in the same. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
examplifie
it, Italian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "32 m"
32m
$ on renovation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
which was as sufficient to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
the education to 25% of children from whole population; who can not afford the educational fees.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
priority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to citizens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on that things
rather
than faculty of arts.

To conclude
and offer my position, I would support the later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
than the former one to reason being I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
knowledge and safety is an essential
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "thing"?
things
.
However
, investing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on ancient gallery is
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for introducing nation's pride
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
as basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
.
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IELTS essay Government spend most of the money on arts. Some people agreed on that while others believe that government should spend money in health and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
463 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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