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buy new device or delay purchse

buy new device or delay purchse R5DwY
according to fierce competition in modern society, every company should attempt to stay live through supplying new device or upgrade old device to guarantee own earnings, however a hot topic of this argument is when customer should make purchase new products. In this regard, some prefer to buy new ones as soon as introducing to the market. But others wait to purchase at proper time. Although both of which perspective is merit but as far as I is concerned latter is better. I feel this way for following reasons. To begin with, delaying purchase of new technology lead to save money. When introducing a new device at first time, company set price of product at high level in order to make reasonable profit in addition of compensating some part of R&D expense. However after introducing new technology, other competitors strive to keep market share hence take measure to introduce similar goods. This automatically decrease customers' demand and as result the company is required to reduce the price. Therefore it is reasonable to delay purchase. Personal experience are merit example in this area. i like iPhone ‘smart phone. Every year APPLE Company introduce new version of smart phone that its price is very expensive to afford it. After passing 6 month, its price decrease by 30 percent and I easily can buy it. Another reason I prefer waiting to buy new technology is that it lead to have better purchase. For one thing, new technology are not always excellent. Applying some new device are more difficult and take a long time to master. For other thing, some new equipment may have bugs. These bogs and defects could be related to software or hardware that may poses threat to person. Since there are many special sites and social platform that compare technical and appear characteristics of new products with old ones or competitor products and point out its weakness and powerful. When enough customers use this device, it can easily select new device. put in nutshell, according to above mentioned, I can concluded that it better to postponed purchase of new product because of saving money and awareness purchase
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
according
to fierce competition in modern society, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
should attempt to stay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
through supplying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
or upgrade
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
to guarantee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
earnings,
however
a hot topic of this argument is when customer should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. In this regard,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
ones as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as introducing to the market.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
others wait to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
at proper time. Although both of which perspective is merit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as far as I
is concerned
latter is better. I feel this way for following reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, delaying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
lead to save money. When introducing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
at
first
time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
set
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
at high level in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
reasonable profit
in addition
of compensating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of R&D expense.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
after introducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, other competitors strive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
market share
hence
take measure to introduce similar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. This
automatically
decrease customers' demand and as result the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is required
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
it is reasonable to delay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
. Personal experience are merit example in this area.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
like iPhone ‘smart phone. Every year APPLE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Company
introduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
version of smart phone that its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive to afford it. After passing 6
Possible agreement error. The noun 'month' seems to be countable, so consider using: "months".
month
, its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
decrease by 30 percent and I
easily
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it.

Another reason I prefer waiting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is that it lead to have better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
. For one thing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are not always excellent. Applying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
are more difficult and take a long time to master. For other thing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
equipment may have bugs. These bogs and defects could
be related
to software or hardware that may poses threat to person. Since there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
special sites and social platform that compare technical and appear characteristics of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
ones or competitor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and point out its weakness and powerful. When
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
, it can
easily
select
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
device.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
put
in nutshell, according to above mentioned, I can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "conclude"
concluded
that it better to postponed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of saving money and awareness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
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IELTS essay buy new device or delay purchse

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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