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Government should spend more money on building public parks than shopping malls

Government should spend more money on building public parks than shopping malls nXDxE
n our contemporary life, it has always been a controversial issue over whether Government should invest more money in building public parks instead of spending money on shopping malls. As far as I am concerned, I firmly support this belief and my reasons are outline below. There are many compelling reasons why countries should have more public utility systems such as squares and parks. The first justification is that public parks provide places for citizens to do exercises or organize outdoor activities such as jogging, running, playing sport game. To be more specific, public parks and squares are spacious and have many trees which provide fresh air and peaceful scene so that people’s health will be improved. According to a recent survey, a vast majority of scientists encourage the government to build public parks to prevent the risk of diseases such as depression, obesity. This survey offers strong proof that building public parks are more important than building shopping malls. On the one hand, it is understandable why some people are of the fervent conviction that the government should spend more money on building shopping malls than building public parks. Supporters of such a view would argue that building a shopping mall is convenient for people to buy something they need because this place provides residents a variety of necessary product such as food, clothes, household or even entertainment shows. On the other hand, such a scenario is exaggerated because E-commerce has been growing in our contemporary life so that people can buy anything from the internet. A prime example would be that when the Covid epidemic appeared, the shopping centre was closed by the government which lead to people using social media to buy anything they wanted. To recapitulate, I would therefore contend that there are justifiable grounds for advocating the view that Government should invest more money in building public parks
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
n
our contemporary life, it has always been a controversial issue over whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should invest more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
instead
of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls. As far as I
am concerned
, I
firmly
support this belief and my reasons are outline below.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
compelling reasons why countries should have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
utility systems such as squares and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
. The
first
justification is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
provide places for citizens to do exercises or organize outdoor activities such as jogging, running, playing sport game. To be more specific,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and squares are spacious and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
trees which provide fresh air and peaceful scene
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
. According to a recent survey, a vast majority of scientists encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of diseases such as depression, obesity. This survey offers strong proof that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls.

On the one hand, it is understandable why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the fervent conviction that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
. Supporters of such a view would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
mall is convenient for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something they need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this place provides residents a variety of necessary product such as food, clothes, household or even entertainment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
.
On the other hand
, such a scenario
is exaggerated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
E-commerce has been growing in our contemporary life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything from the internet. A prime example would be that when the
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
Covid
epidemic appeared, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
was closed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
which lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using social media to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything they wanted.

To recapitulate, I would
therefore
contend that there are justifiable grounds for advocating the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should invest more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
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IELTS essay Government should spend more money on building public parks than shopping malls

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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