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government should spend money on railways than roads

government should spend money on railways than roads NRmb
Some countries like Japan and Korea have proven to the world that it’s possible to build efficient railways. It can be achieved because of their ability to be able to overcome a problem in their respective countries. It’s possible to imitate their success in building their railways if the government chooses to do so. Technology is moving fast and it’s not going to stop anytime soon. And dense countries like India and Indonesia are going to have a problem moving their citizens with how crowded the country is. It’s to be expected that eventually, they need something more than the built roads that they have now. Railways are much more efficient in transporting people than roads are. While railways can carry more than 100 people every trip roads can only do so much when the space is limited. Railways are much more efficient than roads. But, railways will cost more to build initially than roads. Railways have to be properly maintained to be able to function as intended. Roads on the other hand are much simpler to build. But, in the long run, railways are going to pay off what they're worth initially. Another thing is because railways are much efficient than roads it’s obvious that it is going to cost less fuel to operate. So, even though there are some challenges to building more railways than roads especially its cost. It’s going to be worth the price for the government to build more railways. It also suits the need of the rapidly growing population in dense countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Japan and Korea have proven to the world that it’s possible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
. It can
be achieved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their ability to be able to overcome a problem in their respective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. It’s possible to imitate their success in building their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
chooses to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

Technology is moving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and it’s not going to
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stop
anytime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. And dense
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countries
like India and Indonesia are going to have a problem moving their citizens with how crowded the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is. It’s to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that
eventually
, they need something more than the built
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roads
that they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
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Railways
are
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much
more
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efficient
in transporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
than
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roads
are. While
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railways
can carry more than 100
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
every trip
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roads
can
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only
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
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much
when the space
is limited
.

Railways are
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much
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efficient
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
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railways
will cost more to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
initially
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Railways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
properly
maintained to be able to function as intended.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Roads
on the other hand
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
simpler to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, in the long run,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
are going to pay off what they're worth
initially
. Another thing is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
Use "(efficient)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
efficient
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
it’s obvious that it is going to cost less fuel to operate.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
even though
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
challenges to building more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
especially
its cost. It’s going to be worth the price for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
. It
also
suits the need of the
rapidly
growing population in dense
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
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IELTS essay government should spend money on railways than roads

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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