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Government should spend money on railways rather than roads.

It is often argued that councils should spend capital on railways instead of roads. I completely disagree with this opinion and think that roads have much more priorities than railways. First of all, I believe that role of roads are much more important for our daily basis. Because, individuals all of the world usually prefer to use from road travelling, such as private cars, buses and bikes. Therefore, improving roads will be tremendously useful for society and, it might rise the number of foreign travelers and positive comments about the roads or transmits which could attract other tourists. For example, more and more tourists prefer travelling to Dubai, since their roads are much convenient and modern. Hence, to concentrate money of government in such direction will be much useful, convenient and also could bring extra money from tourism. Secondly, if main part of budget is spent for roads, it might decrease rate of accidents and traffics. For instance, there are a lot of manslaughters or accidents are occurred by drivers or traffics which might causes to the unemployment or delays. Therefore, roads play crucial role for people’s life and by managing main budget, we will escape from these issues. For example, the traffic congestions of New Zealand is unique, since there is very low percentages of traffics and accidents. Thus, to tackle these issues by spending money for roads is much more vital, because it might keep person’s life. In conclusion, I strongly believe that to spend money for roads is beneficial than railways, since it provides convenience for inhabitants and even for tourists. Moreover, it plays crucial role for people’s life.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that councils should spend capital on railways
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. I completely disagree with this opinion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more priorities than railways.

Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
, I believe that role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
Possible agreement error. Did you mean “is”? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so ‘are’ is not always incorrect.)
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for our daily basis.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, individuals
Consider using “all the”.
all of the
world
usually
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
travelling, such as private cars, buses and bikes.
Therefore
, improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
will be
tremendously
useful for society and, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
rise the number of foreign travelers and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
comments about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
or transmits which could attract other tourists.
For example
, more and more tourists prefer travelling to Dubai, since their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
convenient and modern.
Hence
, to concentrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in such direction will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
useful, convenient and
also
could bring extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from tourism.

Secondly
, if main part of budget
is spent
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
decrease rate of accidents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffics
.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
manslaughters
or accidents
are occurred
by drivers or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffics
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
causes to the unemployment or delays.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
play crucial role for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s life and by managing main budget, we will escape from these issues.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestions of New Zealand is unique, since there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low percentages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffics
and accidents.
Thus
, to tackle these issues by spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more vital,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
person’s life.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
is beneficial than railways, since it provides convenience for inhabitants and even for tourists.
Moreover
, it plays crucial role for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s life.
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IELTS essay Government should spend money on railways rather than roads.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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