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Government should spend money on rail way rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Government should spend money on rail way rather than roads. v. 1
It is argued that funds should be spent by the authority on rail track rather than on roads. In my own opinion, I totally agree to this point of view because of the present focus on rail transportation as well as the cost implication for the users. First and foremost, recently, the most important reason why the rail track should be considered for more allocations by the government is that there has been a recent increase in the number of people who use the rail mode of passage. For instance, recently, most trains leaving the station now carry passengers to their fullest capacity, something which was not so in the past decades. Thus making rail way a present focus of travel for most citizens. Therefore, any amount spent on it would not be considered a waste. Secondly, another reason why more funds should be budgeted for rail track construction other than roads is that it is cheaper to journey within and outside the metropolis with trains. To illustrate, in Nigeria, the cost of travelling from Lagos to Osogbo by road is almost thrice the price of conveyance to the same destination by train. This by implication makes people spend less to move from one place to the other everyday. Thus making train transportation the best choice for commuters. As a result, allocating more funds to building this means is very essential. In conclusion, it is agreed that the budget made by the authority for building rail path should be more than the fund disbursed for road construction given the recent increase in the population that plies the rail as opposed to that of the road and the less expensive outlay of train transportation.
It
is argued
that funds should
be spent
by the authority on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
rather
than on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this point of view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the present focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
transportation
as well
as the cost implication for the users.

First
and foremost, recently, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
should
be considered
for more allocations by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is that there has been a recent increase in the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
mode of passage.
For instance
, recently, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
leaving the station
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
carry passengers to their fullest capacity, something which was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in the past decades.
Thus
making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
way a present focus of travel for most citizens.
Therefore
, any amount spent on it would not
be considered
a waste.

Secondly
, another reason why more funds should
be budgeted
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
construction other than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
is that it is cheaper to journey within and outside the metropolis with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
. To illustrate, in Nigeria, the cost of travelling from Lagos to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Osogbo
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
is almost thrice the price of conveyance to the same destination by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
. This by implication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend less to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from one place to the other
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
.
Thus
making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
transportation the best choice for commuters.
As a result
, allocating more funds to building this means is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that the budget made by the authority for building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
path should be more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
disbursed for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
construction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the recent increase in the population that plies the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rail
as opposed to that of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
and the less expensive outlay of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
transportation.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Government should spend money on rail way rather than roads. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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