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government should spend large amounts of money to deal with the problem of stray dogs and cats on the streets

government should spend large amounts of money to deal with the problem of stray dogs and cats on the streets 8JO6P
First of all, I would like to outline that animals are similar creatures to humans, they need food, water, home, a warm place where they will be raised, however they do not need maltreatment by us. Besides, I think that it is government's responsibility to take care of homeless animals, give them elementary things to survive and not to be on the streets in freezing cold weather, without food, shelter or veterinary care. I strongly believe that it is government's duty not to close eyes on human rights, protect those pets and provide them with proper care. However, the statistics show us that the number of animals on the street are rising day by day so we have to take steps for protecting them. Therefore, The government should analyze that animal also have emotions and treat them like normal ones. They have to inspect that animals have never had any chance to change their life, as well as homeless people. Eventually, they are born in the streets or are thrown out by their "parents". So we have to imagine how they are supposed to live on the streets where hundreds of persons are going up and down even not noticing them, their exhausted and starving face. . I also wonder if animals are able to think but not to speak what we be in their thoughts? ! After that, I reckon that all of us, including government have obligation to spend money to handle their struggling for life. To summarize, government should realize that dogs or cats are in danger, while they have to be treated well and be in comfort environment maintained with food and necessary products.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I would like to outline that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are similar creatures to humans, they need food, water, home, a warm place where they will
be raised
,
however
they do not need maltreatment by us.

Besides
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's responsibility to take care of homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, give them elementary things to survive and not to be on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streets
in freezing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
weather, without food, shelter or veterinary care. I
strongly
believe that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's duty not to close eyes on human rights, protect those pets and provide them with proper care.
However
, the statistics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
us that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
are rising day by day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take steps for protecting them.

Therefore
, The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should analyze that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
also
have emotions and treat them like normal ones. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
inspect that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have never had any chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
,
as well
as homeless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Eventually
, they
are born
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streets
or
are thrown
out by their
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
parents
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
imagine how they
are supposed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streets
where hundreds of persons are going up and down even not noticing them, their exhausted and starving face.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
I
also
wonder if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not to speak what we be in their thoughts? ! After that, I reckon that all of us, including
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
have obligation to spend money to handle their struggling for life.

To summarize
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should realize that dogs or cats are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
, while they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be treated
well and be in comfort environment maintained with food and necessary products.
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IELTS essay government should spend large amounts of money to deal with the problem of stray dogs and cats on the streets

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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