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which major would you like to study after leaving high school

which major would you like to study after leaving high school KYMj1
Continuing to study after completing high school is quite common among young people today, and so the choice, of course, becomes a matter of reflection for each student. As for myself, I value the opinions of others more than making life-changing decisions on my own. Also, because my family has a tradition in medicine and police work, I was influenced a lot by opinions about those two specialties, and I thought I would choose medicine for a number of reasons. The first reason is that the employment rate after graduating from medical school is quite high. Most graduates immediately get a job or even find a job while in college. The second reason is the source of income. No one can deny that a doctor can earn a large amount of money each month, which is what everyone wants, and so do I. Money has a lot of influence on our lives, so in my opinion, it is better to have more than less. The last reason is that I want to give something back to the community through my work when I finish school so that my life can be more meaningful and my family can be more proud of me and not have to worry about me anymore.
Continuing to study after completing high school is quite common among young
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, and
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so
the choice,
of course
, becomes a matter of reflection for each student. As for myself, I value the opinions of others more than making life-changing decisions on my
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own
.
Also
,
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because
my family has a tradition in medicine and police work, I
was influenced
a lot by opinions about those two specialties, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
I would choose medicine for a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that the employment rate after graduating from medical school is quite high. Most graduates immediately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job or even find a job while in college. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is the source of income. No one can deny that a doctor can earn a large amount of money each month, which is what everyone wants, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
do I. Money has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
influence on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in my opinion, it is better to have more than less. The last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that I want to give something back to the community through my work when I finish school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that my life can be more meaningful and my family can be more proud of me and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about me anymore.
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IELTS essay which major would you like to study after leaving high school

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
210 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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