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government should give every unemployed person a mobile phone and should make sure they have access to the Internet.

government should give every unemployed person a mobile phone and should make sure they have access to the Internet. KW5nL
Always people have arguments especially when it comes to what governments must do to their citizens. one of these arguments is that an unemployed individual ought to have a cell phone and internet accsess for free. This is based on the fact that this would be a sufficient spending of public money. furthermore, this would help in reducing the problem of unemployment. In my opinion, I agree with this argument only if a person would use that for working as a free lancer. First, we live in the era of technology where people could make money by only pressing a button. Mobile phones are not just devices for making calls, they are small computers on the go. For example, a person who likes photography can use the phones's camera to take beautiful pictures. Those pictures can be posted online and might have a positive effect on him. The first and obvious effect is consuming his free time doing somthing that he loves. Additionally, those pictures could be good enough to atract a person who can offer a job. In contrast, such idea may cause a negative effect on the society. People loves free things, and if a persons knows already that he can have a phone and an internet access for free, he/she may not work hard enough as supposed to be. In other words, This idea could produce a spoiled society. For example, in Saudi Arabia, we have a program to suppurt unemployed individuals. One of the negative effect of this program, people relyed on it during the process of finding a job. They wait for the job they want rather than working until they find the right job. Finally, government are obiligated to find what is the best for their citizens.
Always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have arguments
especially
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do to their citizens.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
of these arguments is that an unemployed individual ought to have a cell phone and internet
Possible spelling mistake found.
accsess
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
. This
is based
on the fact that this would be a sufficient spending of public money.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
, this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in reducing the problem of unemployment. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this argument
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that for working as a
Did you mean "freelancer"?
free lancer
.

First
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the era of technology where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
pressing a button. Mobile phones are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
devices for making calls, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
computers on the go.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who likes photography can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
Did you mean "phone's" or "phones'"?
phones's
camera to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
pictures. Those pictures can
be posted
online and might have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on him. The
first
and obvious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
is consuming his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
time doing
Possible spelling mistake found.
somthing
that he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
.
Additionally
, those pictures could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
atract
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who can offer a job.

In contrast
, such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
may cause a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on the society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
loves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
things, and if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
knows already that he can have a phone and an internet access for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
, he/she may not work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
as supposed to be.
In other words
, This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
could produce a spoiled society.
For example
, in Saudi Arabia, we have a program to
Possible spelling mistake found.
suppurt
unemployed individuals. One of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
of this program,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "relied", the past tense form of the verb 'rely'?
relyed
on it during the process of finding a job. They wait for the job they want
rather
than working until they find the right job.

Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
obiligated
to find what is the best for their citizens.
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IELTS essay government should give every unemployed person a mobile phone and should make sure they have access to the Internet.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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