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Population expansion has became a major concern in many parts of the world . What are the cause of this increased population ? How the problems generated by this issue could be sorted ?

Population expansion has became a major concern in many parts of the world. What are the cause of this increased population? How the problems generated by this issue could be sorted? Gw5NB
In many different parts of world, the population density is increasing by leaps and bounds. This happens mainly due to unawareness and cultural context, and in order to sort out the troubles caused by population explosion, certain measures should be taken which are going to be elaborated in the further paragraph. To commence with causes, first and foremost is unawareness and lack of education among individuals. There is no denying that mostly people are lacking in knowledge about how to plan a family and what precautions should be used in such situations. Secondly, cultural context is another cause of this issue. It is irrefutable that most of people have desire of boy child. Because of this, even after having more than two girls they go for a baby boy. In India, for instance, is one of the best example of cultural context where majority of people have desire of baby boy, and this would ultimately lead to increase in population. To put off the problems generated by this issue, there are enormous solutions for this. It cannot he denied that due to increase in population the trouble of employment and space scarcity is raised. For this, the infrastructure of country should be improved, therefore, everyone access to land as well as jobs. Moreover, international aid is another solution to this. When develoved countries provide helping hand to such countries, and show interest to set up their business there, the problem of job opportunities should be put off. In conclusion, unawareness and insufficient knowledge, and cultural context is main reason for population explosion. The problem created by increased population could be solved by international help and infrastructure development.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of world, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
density is increasing by leaps and bounds. This happens
mainly
due to unawareness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
context
, and in order to sort out the troubles caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
explosion, certain measures should
be taken
which are going to
be elaborated
in the
further
paragraph.

To commence with causes,
first
and foremost is unawareness and lack of education among individuals. There is no denying that
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are lacking in knowledge about how to plan a family and what precautions should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in such situations.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
context
is another cause of this issue. It is irrefutable that most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have desire of boy child.
Because of this
, even after having more than two girls they go for a baby boy. In India,
for instance
, is one of the best example of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
context
where majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have desire of baby boy, and this would
ultimately
lead to increase in population.

To put off the problems generated by this issue, there are enormous solutions for this. It cannot he denied that due to increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
the trouble of employment and space scarcity
is raised
. For this, the infrastructure of country should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
,
therefore
, everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "accesses", "accessed".
access
to land
as well
as jobs.
Moreover
, international aid is another solution to this. When
Possible spelling mistake found.
develoved
countries provide helping hand to such countries, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
interest to set up their business there, the problem of job opportunities should
be put
off.

In conclusion
, unawareness and insufficient knowledge, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
context
is main reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
explosion. The problem created by increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
could
be solved
by international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and infrastructure development.
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IELTS essay Population expansion has became a major concern in many parts of the world. What are the cause of this increased population? How the problems generated by this issue could be sorted?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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