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Government should close companies that produce toxic material without any poisonous treatment facilities in order to prevent the environment. what you extent?

Government should close companies that produce toxic material without any poisonous treatment facilities in order to prevent the environment. what you extent? e8AaK
It is undeniable that regime ought to ban the industries that produce poisonous trash in order to preserve the atmosphere. I am partially agree with this statement and the various number of reasons for this opinion are in upcoming paragraphs. Admittedly, there are oodles of perspective to glimpse this. The first reason is that it will reduce water pollution. To be more precise, industries drops the waste material in rivers then, water becomes dirty and the dirty water harms the aquatic life such as fish and other marine species. For example, china done by a research that 80 percent of water is polluted and fresh water not consuming by people there. Another clear reason is that, it will help to appropriate in growth of crops. For illustration, if rivers water do not be polluted, then the fresh water will supply to crops and crops will grow healthy. And it help the poor farmers to get more wealthy than actual. Hence, government should close the organisations that obtain harmful material and they have no any amenities for this problem in order to save nature. In other hand, higher authorities should not ban the industries that produce poisonous substances. Because it will cause the lack of employment. In other words, if these companies get banned, then poor people cannot get jobs and it makes their life more harder. Another reason behind this is that it reduces the economy of nation. In easy words, economy level of country will decline because of unemploymeny. And these organizations provide us our basic or daily needs but if these companies will close. Then our life become harder without luxury things. Therefore, bureaucrats shouldn't close the industries that produce waste material in order to save the atmosphere. In conclusion, both suggestions are beneficial and unprofitable also. So after pros and cons, i agree with both point of views. But i am more agree with first viewpoint and less with another outlook.
It is undeniable that regime ought to ban the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
that produce poisonous trash in order to preserve the atmosphere. I am
partially
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
with this statement and the various number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for this opinion are in upcoming paragraphs.
Admittedly
, there are oodles of perspective to glimpse this. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pollution. To be more precise,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
drops the waste material in rivers then,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
becomes dirty and the dirty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
harms the aquatic life such as fish and other marine species.
For example
, china done by
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
that 80 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is polluted
and fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
not consuming by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
there. Another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to appropriate in growth of crops. For illustration, if rivers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
do not
be polluted
, then the fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
will supply to crops and crops will grow healthy. And it
Did you mean "helps"?
help
the poor farmers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more wealthy than actual.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should close the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
that obtain harmful
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
material and
they have
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any amenities for this problem in order to save nature. In other hand, higher authorities should not ban the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
that produce poisonous substances.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
it will cause the lack of employment.
In other words
, if these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
banned, then poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
jobs and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their life
Use only "harder" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more harder
. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
behind this is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the economy of nation. In easy words, economy level of country will decline
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
unemploymeny
. And these
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organizations
provide us our basic or daily needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
will close. Then our life become harder without luxury things.
Therefore
, bureaucrats shouldn't close the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
that produce waste material in order to save the atmosphere.
In conclusion
, both suggestions are beneficial and unprofitable
also
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
after pros and cons,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with both point of views.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
first
viewpoint and less with another outlook.
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IELTS essay Government should close companies that produce toxic material without any poisonous treatment facilities in order to prevent the environment. what you extent?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
324 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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