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Government in developing countries should spend more money on projects to improve the local economy ( tourist hotels, factories) and less on public services (health and education). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Government in developing countries should spend more money on projects to improve the local economy ( tourist hotels, factories) and less on public services (health and education). Ym3Pj
In recent decades, the public services have become an essential topic among societies. Developing nations need expend more currency to the projects which is enhance their local economy and less currency on public services. However, I completely disagree with their standpoint. In this essay I shall discuss both opinion with relevant examples. First and foremost, authorities spending money to the economic plans because that way we improve our quality of life. For example, through ameliorate manufactories, many people can have their own work and they exported items to other countries for profit or indigenous individuals purchase lower costs products there. Secondly, governments have to make hotels alluring for tourists, cause tourism boost their economy and they get a chance to spread their country name to different nations. Hence, it is important to support similar projects in developing countries. On other side of the argument, government should not be benny-pinching on public services from a bird’s eye view. Because, public services do not only improve the wellbeing and education of its citizens, but also boost the country’s productivity, and, by the same token. If they do not invest public services, people face medical care and education difficulties. Although, knowledge is intangible, for this, authorities spend more currency to education system to well educating new generations. In conclusion, I believe government should not consume a lot of money to develop local economy. Instead of this, they may enhancement study or health systems with new methods.
In recent decades, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
have become an essential topic among societies. Developing nations need expend more currency to the projects which is
Consider using a past participle here: "enhanced".
enhance
their local economy and less currency on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.
However
, I completely disagree with their standpoint. In this essay I shall discuss both opinion with relevant examples.

First
and foremost, authorities spending money to the economic plans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that way we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our quality of life.
For example
, through ameliorate
Possible spelling mistake found.
manufactories
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
they exported items to other countries for profit or indigenous individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
lower costs products there.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
hotels alluring for tourists, cause tourism boost their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
economy and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to spread their country name to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations.
Hence
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to support similar projects in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
.

On other side of the argument,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should not be
Possible spelling mistake found.
benny-pinching
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
from a bird’s eye view.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
and education of its citizens,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
boost the country’s productivity, and, by the same token. If they do not invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
face medical care and education difficulties. Although, knowledge is intangible, for this, authorities spend more currency to education system to well educating new generations.

In conclusion
, I believe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should not consume
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money to develop local economy.
Instead
of this, they
The word 'enhancement' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
may enhancement
study or health systems with new methods.
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IELTS essay Government in developing countries should spend more money on projects to improve the local economy ( tourist hotels, factories) and less on public services (health and education).

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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