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Government give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Government give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. oy03
It is certainly true that an artist plays an indispensable role in the development of the nation. Nowadays, the ruling body is providing a plethora of amenities to preserve its artistic heritage. Some would argue that there are some important issues besides it that should be given priority, whereas others say that it is extremely crucial to take necessary steps to save their culture and heritage. While spending more money on other issues will definitely curb them, I believe that there should be a separate budget for art. On the one hand, there are many important issues such as poverty, unemployment and starvation that can be easily overcome by spending more money in required fields. Many times, the government in developing nations spent money unwisely on other things and overlook their main issues. If a government cannot control the unemployment and inflation rate, then there will be no importance to invest money in art. For example, in the United State, the government focuses more on the primary requirements of citizens rather than spending blindly on art. However, I think that utilizing more money on crucial issues does not mean that there is no need to spend money on art. It would be better to provide some additional budget to artists before they become extinct. On the other hand, it is considered that spending money on art would not only assist to save the heritage but also boost the economy of the country. It will generate a lot of employment and tourism at various artistic and historical places. In addition to this, it will create a lot of opportunities for inhabitants to earn money from tourists. For instance, the monument of Sardar Patel built up near Ahmedabad by the government of India is generating high revenue and thus helping the ruling body as well as native people. I believe this idea is preferable because it will also overcome the other issues to some extent. In conclusion, although there are some crucial issues that should be curbed yet overlooking the artists would not actually solve the problem, because they also play a vital role for the development of the nation.
It is
certainly
true that an artist plays an indispensable role in the development of the nation. Nowadays, the ruling body is providing a plethora of amenities to preserve its artistic heritage.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
besides
it that should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
priority, whereas others say that it is
extremely
crucial to take necessary steps to save their culture and heritage. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
will definitely curb them, I believe that there should be a separate budget for art.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
such as poverty, unemployment and starvation that can be
easily
overcome by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in required fields.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
times, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in developing nations spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
unwisely
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things and overlook their main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
cannot control the unemployment and inflation rate, then there will be no importance to invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.
For example
, in the United State, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
focuses more on the primary requirements of citizens
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
blindly
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that utilizing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
does not mean that there is no need to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. It would be better to provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
additional budget to artists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they become extinct.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it
is considered
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
assist to save the heritage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
boost the economy of the country. It will generate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
employment and tourism at various artistic and historical places.
In addition
to this, it will create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
opportunities for inhabitants to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from tourists.
For instance
, the monument of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sardar
Patel built up near Ahmedabad by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of India is generating high revenue and
thus
helping the ruling body
as well
as native
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. I believe this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is preferable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
also
overcome the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
that should
be curbed
yet
overlooking the artists would not actually solve the problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
also
play a vital role for the development of the nation.

IELTS essay Government give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
358 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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