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Goverenments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

Goverenments should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement? v. 1
Nowadays unhealthy habits are a worldwide trend. In many countries around the world the average weight of people is higher than in the past years and the fitness levels are decreasing. In this essay, I shall refer to how the busiest daily routine and cheapest fat food are causes of these problems and how they can be controlled by education at schools and healthy initiatives at companies. Although there are many restaurants that offer healthy food, people prefer to buy the cheapest and quickest option. Also, the possibility to order food by a mobile phone in less than 5 minutes while working or studying, result more attractive to reduce wasting time during work hours. For example, mobile applications such as Uber Eats, Rappi, Domicilios. com, among others, offer a variety of cheaper and more frequent, unhealthy fast food, that can be delivered in less than 30 minutes. Nevertheless, there are many measures that could be taken to solve this problem. Education at schools and universities about healthy habits and the importance of fitness is one of the most effective one because of the number of people attending these places. Another option could be to add and promote gyms in companies and working places. In my experience, Avianca, the biggest airline in Colombia and the company I work with, offers free access to a gym located in the second floor of its main building and also gives financial aid to subscribe into a variety of gyms in the town to stimulate a fitness habits in their employees. In conclusion, today´s world invites people to have unhealthy habits by using applications that offer fast and cheaper food without leaving, either their houses or workplaces. Therefore, average weight of the population of many countries is increasing. In contrast, there are measures than can be taken such as education that can help future generations to avoid healthy problems and encourage a fitness lifestyle.
Nowadays unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
are a worldwide trend. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries around the world the average weight of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is higher than in the past years and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
levels are decreasing. In this essay, I shall refer to how the busiest daily routine and cheapest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
are causes of these problems and how they can
be controlled
by education at schools and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
initiatives at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
restaurants that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the cheapest and quickest option.
Also
, the possibility to order
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
by a mobile phone in less than 5 minutes while working or studying, result more attractive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
wasting time during work hours.
For example
, mobile applications such as Uber Eats,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rappi
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Domicilios
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
, among others,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
a variety of cheaper and more frequent, unhealthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, that can
be delivered
in less than 30 minutes.

Nevertheless
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
measures that could
be taken
to solve this problem. Education at schools and universities about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
and the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
is one of the most effective one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attending these places. Another option could be to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
and promote gyms in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and working places. In my experience,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Avianca
, the biggest airline in Colombia and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
I work with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offers
free access to a gym located in the second floor of its main building and
also
gives financial aid to subscribe into a variety of gyms in the town to stimulate a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
in their employees.

In conclusion
,
The character between 'today' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "today’s" (curly apostrophe) or "today's" (straight apostrophe).
today´s
world invites
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
by using applications that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and cheaper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
without leaving, either their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
or workplaces.
Therefore
, average weight of the population of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries is increasing.
In contrast
, there are measures than can
be taken
such as education that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
future generations to avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
problems and encourage a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
lifestyle.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Goverenments should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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