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Global warming is one of the serious issues being faced by people today. What are the causes of global warming and what measures must be taken by government and individuals in order to prevent global warming? v.1

Global warming is one of the serious issues being faced by people today. What are the causes of global warming and what measures must be taken by government and individuals in order to prevent global warming? v. 1
Today is an era of science and technology. Over the past decades, mankind has witnessed various developments in lifestyle, science and technology. Due to this evolution many issues, affecting the environment, have come into existence. Among them, global warming is one of serious phenomenon harming the nature and its habitats. Global warming is the caused due to the emission of greenhouse gases such as carbon dioxide, carbon monoxide and sulphur dioxide. These gases release into the earth's atmosphere and create holes in the ozone layer which protects the troposphere from the harmful ultraviolet radiation of the sun. In addition to the causes, the increase in the demand of vehicles has resulted in rapid growth of pollution, which has made the situation of global warming even worse. The leading countries in oil production like USA and Saudi Arabia use thermal methods for extracting hydrocarbons from the subsurface of earth. This affects the environment due to the rise in temperature of the subsurface. Notably, the rise in earth's temperature is melting the glaciers which are also rising the sea levels. Also, with the trending growth of population, the need for buildings and homes is elevating resulting in the cutting down of trees leading to deforestation. Now, enlightening the steps that must be taken by government and individuals in order to prevent the adverse effects of global warming. Firstly, the government must impose high taxes on factories for exceeding their threshold limit, which is the minimum work limit a factory can allow. For instance, the odd even rule initiated by the Delhi government was beneficial in monitoring the rate of pollution. Therefore, more such policies must be introduced. An individual must plant more trees contributing to afforestation, in order to breathe fresh air as trees and plants consume carbon dioxide. Also, people must prefer public transport to downsize the traffic rate and air quality deterioration. In conclusion, it can be said that the life of our planet is at stake today. In order to protect mankind and nature, we must take initiative and prevent any further casualties of global warming.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
is an era of science and technology. Over the past decades, mankind has witnessed various developments in lifestyle, science and technology. Due to this evolution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues, affecting the environment, have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into existence. Among them,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
is one of serious phenomenon harming the nature and its habitats.

Global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
is the caused due to the emission of greenhouse gases such as carbon dioxide, carbon monoxide and
Possible spelling mistake. 'sulphur' is British English.
sulphur
dioxide. These gases release into the earth's atmosphere and create holes in the ozone layer which protects the troposphere from the harmful ultraviolet radiation of the sun.

In addition
to the causes, the increase in the demand of vehicles has resulted in rapid growth of pollution, which has made the situation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
even worse. The leading countries in oil production
A determiner is probably missing here: "like the USA".
like USA
and Saudi Arabia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
thermal methods for extracting hydrocarbons from the subsurface of earth. This affects the environment due to the rise in temperature of the subsurface.
Notably
, the rise in earth's temperature is melting the glaciers which are
also
rising the sea levels.
Also
, with the trending growth of population, the need for buildings and homes is elevating resulting in the cutting down of trees leading to deforestation.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, enlightening the steps that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and individuals in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the adverse effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
impose high taxes on factories for exceeding their threshold limit, which is the minimum work limit a factory can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
.
For instance
, the odd even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
initiated by the Delhi
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
was beneficial in monitoring the rate of pollution.
Therefore
, more such policies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be introduced
. An individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
plant more trees contributing to afforestation, in order to breathe fresh air as trees and plants consume carbon dioxide.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
prefer public transport to downsize the traffic rate and air quality deterioration.

In conclusion
, it can
be said
that the life of our planet is at stake
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. In order to protect mankind and nature, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take initiative and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
any
further
casualties of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Global warming is one of the serious issues being faced by people today. What are the causes of global warming and what measures must be taken by government and individuals in order to prevent global warming? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
347 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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