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Giving much more stringent penalties for driving offences is supposed to be the only method for enhancing road safety.

Giving much more stringent penalties for driving offences is supposed to be the only method for enhancing road safety. G95Jj
Giving much more stringent penalties for driving offences is supposed to be the only method for enhancing road safety. Although I acknowledge it is an effective way to deter people from committing driving offences, I still considered that there are several better solutions to maintain safety on our roads. To begin with, harsher punishments can act as a deterrent to those who intend to commit driving offences. An obvious illustration of this is that in Vietnam, those who ride motorbikes without helmets will have to face monetary penalties. This makes them feel scared of being fined heavily so they will not commit other offences. Another benefit is that this measure will minimize the number of traffic accidents. For instance, in the past, various accidents lead to road casualties in China due to loose regulations. However, when stricter laws were imposed, there was a considerable decrease in the total number of traffic accidents. For these reasons, more stringent punishments are beneficial for improving road safety. Nevertheless, I firmly believe that there are two other ways that are also effective to achieve better road safety. Firstly, the government should raise people’s awareness through various media about the severe consequences of traffic offences. To illustrate, images and videos about serious injuries from traffic accidents should are often be updated on TV or the Internet through social networking sites. This will help people be more conscious as well as drive carefully, which contributes to reducing traffic accidents. Moreover, governments should encourage citizens to opt for public transport instead of private vehicles. For example, when people are drunk or tired after a hard day’s work, means of transportation such as buses or subways will be the best option for circumstances. This will prevent drunk driving as well as sleeping at the wheel and thus, reduce the risk of traffic accidents. In conclusion, I believe that stricter punishments are not the only way to enhance road safety. We also have two extremely effective methods to address this problem are heightening people’s awareness and encouraging people to use public transport.
Giving much more stringent penalties for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
is supposed
to be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
method for enhancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
. Although I acknowledge it is an effective way to deter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
, I
still
considered that there are several better solutions to maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
on our roads.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, harsher punishments can act as a deterrent to those who intend to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
. An obvious illustration of this is that in Vietnam, those who ride motorbikes without helmets will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face monetary penalties. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them feel scared of
being fined
heavily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will not commit other
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
. Another benefit is that this measure will minimize the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
.
For instance
, in the past, various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
casualties in China due to
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
regulations.
However
, when stricter laws
were imposed
, there was a considerable decrease in the total number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. For these reasons, more stringent punishments are beneficial for improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety.

Nevertheless
, I
firmly
believe that there are two other ways that are
also
effective to achieve better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
awareness through various media about the severe consequences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
. To illustrate, images and videos about serious injuries from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
should are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
be updated
on TV or the Internet through social networking sites. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
be more conscious
as well
as drive
carefully
, which contributes to reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should encourage citizens to opt for public transport
instead
of private vehicles.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are drunk
or tired after a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
day’s work, means of transportation such as buses or subways will be the best option for circumstances. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
drunk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
as well
as sleeping at the wheel and
thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
accidents.

In conclusion
, I believe that stricter punishments are not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
. We
also
have two
extremely
effective methods to address this problem are heightening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
awareness and encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transport.
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IELTS essay Giving much more stringent penalties for driving offences is supposed to be the only method for enhancing road safety.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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