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Artistic career is one of the challenging one at the beginning but once you earn the acceptance from the society then will be successfully job. Each and every person analyse artists with a doubtful mindset. Mostly, it starts from the society always believe artists can not achieve livelihood by art alone. This makes parents to be irresponsible for encouraging artists in their home. On the one hand, parents are the first one who realize the interests of the kid and are responsible for the growth of children's talents. All the kid has the right to pursue their own dream career even it is an artistic or technical. Now a days parents are forcing the child to go for limited career options such as doctor and engineer, without encouraging the true interest of the child. One of my friend who loves drawing and dreamed about joining civil engineering and be a successful architect but her parents discouraged, asked to go for computer engineering in sight of job opportunities. Thus the society loose a good artist and a architect. On the other hand, the society is the main reason who pulls the parents to be irresponsible to encourage their children's dream as being a famous artist. Still now the community believes that artists could not have a good income but the sweet truth is just opposite, situations has changed now all can be a good sales representative through the Internet, it provides platform to showcase personal skills in drawing, act as a shop whereas anyone can purchase in the world. All in sum, the attitude towards the artistic career should be changed new era of internet helps to grow each artist skilfully and economically, so parents have to come forward to encourage their child to pursue an artistic career.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Artistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
is one of the challenging one at the beginning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
once you earn the acceptance from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
then will be
successfully
Consider using a past participle here: "jobbed".
job
. Each and every person
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
with a doubtful mindset.
Mostly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
always believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
can not achieve livelihood by art alone. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to be irresponsible for encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
in their home.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the
first
one who realize the interests of the kid and are responsible for the growth of children's talents. All the kid has the right to pursue their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
even it is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artistic
or technical.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are forcing the child to go for limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
options such as doctor and engineer, without encouraging the true interest of the child. One of my friend who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
drawing and dreamed about joining civil engineering and be a successful architect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
discouraged, asked to go for computer engineering in sight of job opportunities.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
loose a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
and
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
architect.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is the main reason who pulls the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to be irresponsible to encourage their children's dream as being a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the community believes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
could not have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
income
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the sweet truth is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
opposite, situations has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
all can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sales representative through the Internet, it provides platform to showcase personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in drawing, act as a shop whereas anyone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
in the world.

All in sum, the attitude towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
new era of internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to grow each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
Possible spelling mistake. 'skilfully' is British English.
skilfully
and
economically
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward to encourage their child to pursue an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
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IELTS essay Give reasons for your answer

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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