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give an opinion about using the computer

give an opinion about using the computer 5LVMQ

I believe, computers are playing an important role of our modern lives nowadays. Because of the increasing technology, people around the world know how to use it easily. Despite the disadvantages of using the computers, they have some advantages for us too. Here these are some of my opinions about the benefits of using the computer i would like to give: First of all, computer is a useful and intelligent tool which make our life more easier. It has people have

I believe, computers are playing an This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:vitalcriticalessential
important
 role of our modern This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :resides
lives
 nowadays. This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
Because
 of the increasing technology, This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 around the world know how to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploit
use
 it easily
. Despite the disadvantages of using the computers, they have This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 advantages for us too. Here these are This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 of my opinions about the benefits of using the computer Did you mean "I"?I
i
 would like to give:

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".First
First of all
, computer is a useful and intelligent tool which This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createconstructmanufactureproduce
make
 our life Use only "easier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.easier
more easier
. It has This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraphhave.have!have?have:have,have;
have

IELTS essay give an opinion about using the computer

Essay

American English

2 paragraphs

80 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Labels Descriptions

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