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Generally, some people argue that it is a good idea for kids to gain more practical experience at the early age, others believe that this is absolutely unacceptable.

Generally, some people argue that it is a good idea for kids to gain more practical experience at the early age, others believe that this is absolutely unacceptable. 3AGEl
Generally, some people argue that it is a good idea for kids to gain more practical experience at the early age, others believe that this is absolutely unacceptable. This essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in my favour. On the first hand, it's true that kids can obtain more knowledge and practical skills when they start working early as the result of their brains are still in the development process. Therefore, kids at this age are usually studious and hyperactive, they want to learn and know more about the world, society, the adults' actions, etc. For instance, a child, who is a singer, can earn several benefits like learn the performing skills when they perform with famous artists. In this case, working at a young age is useful for kids. I will talk about some disadvantages of this topic in the next paragraph.
Generally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to gain more practical experience at the early age, others believe that this is
absolutely
unacceptable. This essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in my
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
.

On the
first
hand, it's true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
can obtain more knowledge and practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
working early as the result of their brains are
still
in the development process.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
at this age are
usually
studious and hyperactive, they want to learn and know more about the world, society, the adults' actions, etc.
For instance
, a child, who is a singer, can earn several benefits like learn the performing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
when they perform with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
artists.
In this case
, working at a young age is useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
. I will talk about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages of this topic in the
next
paragraph.
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IELTS essay Generally, some people argue that it is a good idea for kids to gain more practical experience at the early age, others believe that this is absolutely unacceptable.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
147 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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