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General description of U.S. leisure industry

General description of U. S. leisure industry 7rY8b
The U. S. leisure industry is a diverse, sprawling, multi-trillion dollar contributor to the economy. Segments of the industry vary wildly, from outdoor activities such as camping, bicycling, gardening, and local, state and federal parks visitation; to participatory entertainment including tailgating, amusement parks, bar and nightclub outings, and casino wagering and, conversely, spectator entertainment like television, music concerts and cultural performances such as plays, opera and ballet; to sporting-related pastimes like golf, hunting and fishing, tennis, and bowling; to hands-on creative pursuits as in arts and crafts, musical instruments, and photography; and many, many others. In all, the industry has almost 100 major segments that each generate at least $1 billion as well as hundreds more with lower — but still significant — economic output.
The U. S. leisure industry is a diverse, sprawling, multi-trillion dollar contributor to the economy. Segments of the industry vary
wildly
, from outdoor activities such as camping, bicycling, gardening, and local, state and federal parks visitation; to participatory entertainment including tailgating, amusement parks, bar and nightclub outings, and casino wagering and,
conversely
, spectator entertainment like television, music concerts and cultural performances such as plays, opera and ballet; to sporting-related pastimes like golf, hunting and fishing, tennis, and bowling; to hands-on creative pursuits as in arts and crafts, musical instruments, and photography; and
many
,
many
others. In all, the industry has almost 100 major segments that each generate at least $1 billion
as well
as hundreds more with lower —
but
still
significant — economic output.
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IELTS essay General description of U. S. leisure industry

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
125 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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