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further people have spent a lower time communicating

further people have spent a lower time communicating WOOe
In the current decade, further people have spent a lower time communicating with family members. Spending in much extra activity caused, they do not have time to speak with each other. Firstly, these days numerous people ought to have two or more jobs, and they cannot be with their family. By growing technology and innovate several new appliances, everybody wants to use a new device consequently they ought to purchase them. The affordability to buying their requirements is not possible by only one job consequently they are looking and working in second jobs. For example, a person that has an office job must work in free time by taxi to achieve more money whereby they do not have extra time to communicate with family members. Secondly, the Internet occupies a numerous amount of time of peoples. Social media and online programs on the Internet have more fascinating for young people. The power of those fascinates everybody and young people addicted to these media. For example, both Facebook and Instagram are popular for this issue. The Internet Televisions are another reason. These programs fill the gap and a variety of people every day spend time watching new sessions of the movie, and they are addicted to those movies. These movies are consequently attractive for youth consequently they can't do other activities. In conclusion, I strongly agree that occupying time by working in the second job, and likewise, Use the Internet are two significant reasons that people have less communication with each other to compare with the past.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
decade,
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have spent a lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
communicating with family members. Spending in much extra activity caused, they do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to speak with each other.

Firstly
, these days numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ought to have two or more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, and they cannot be with their family. By growing technology and innovate several new appliances, everybody wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a new device
consequently
they ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
them. The affordability to buying their requirements is not possible by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
consequently
they are looking and working in second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
For example
, a person that has an office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
work in free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by taxi to achieve more money whereby they do not have extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to communicate with family members.

Secondly
, the Internet occupies a numerous amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
. Social media and online programs on the Internet have more fascinating for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The power of those fascinates everybody and young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
addicted to these media.
For example
, both Facebook and Instagram are popular for this issue. The Internet Televisions are another reason. These programs fill the gap and a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
every day spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching new sessions of the movie, and they
are addicted
to those movies. These movies are
consequently
attractive for youth
consequently
they can't do other activities.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that occupying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by working in the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, and
likewise
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Use
the Internet are two significant reasons that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have less communication with each other to compare with the past.
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IELTS essay further people have spent a lower time communicating

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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